Dream: 3 Friends, 2 Dead

by INVERTED

I guess Mike and I were living in an apartment complex again full of plants in the center.  We were showing it to some friends, one I knew Mike F. and another one, who I thought was Venkat but I remembered calling him Hijab.  I remember the apartment was very open and full of sunlight.  I looked upward to another apartment I think it was 289, a man in a wife beater, black cap and baggy jeans yells at us.

He ran down the stairs to our apartment and stood outside the large window and took out a gun.  Bang, bang, bang; one bullet in Mike's heart, Mike F.'s head and Hijab's throat.  I grab the guy in a fit of tears and just scream "Why?!" over and over again.  I let him go and call 911.

911 leaves me on the like for half and hour and for some reason each of their wounds has a button on them.  I have to press them to keep them all alive, finally 911 answers, but Mike wanted to just drive to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital I couldn't keep pressing all the buttons, so Mike F. and Hijab die, but I'm keeping Mike alive while driving down the road.

Let's look at the main symbols, thanks to Dreammoods.com:

Apartment: refers to finical and emotional state

boyfriend: a reflection of your current relationship with your boyfriend

shooter/gun: confrontation, anger, potential, danger, victimized, targeted

heart: how you are dealing with feelings, love, courage, truth, romance

throat: issues with saying what you think, feelings and expression

head: wisdom, rationality, understanding, not seeing a problem clearly

911: do not fear asking for help

by Fletcher6

3: life, vitality, imagination, inner strength, trilogy

This was a strange dream, but I think I understand what it means.  I'm living a well adjusted life at the moment and even if something goes horribly wrong I can still have some control over the situation.  I chose who to keep alive, I think this shows my love for Mike over any other consequence.  This dream was awful and I woke up shaking, but there was a message to be seen.

My life is stable at the moment, but it can change and I need to be ready for it.

My Grandma's Wisdom

by George Nikoladze

Happy Fourth of July to all you Americans out there and on this Fourth I would like to remember my grandmother.

She was actually one of the first female managers at Lockheed and worked on projects she can still not talk about because of top secret status.  Yes my grandmother is a true American, but now I'm worried about losing her.

I was lucky enough to know my great grandmother on my mother's side and lost her around the age of fifteen.  Now I'm facing both of my grandmother's health issues, but mainly from my father's side.

My grandmother used to live about a quarter of a mile away from my childhood home, but now she rents an apartment about an hour and a half away from her closest family.  I keep telling her she can't take care of her aging friends when she has no one close to care for her.

She lived a hard life in Colorado, where her mother died around the age of 50 and my grandmother was left to care for her own small children and some of her siblings.  The older siblings were left to the state and suffered from horrible abuses and never truly forgave my grandmother for it.

Source: U.S. National Archives and
 Records Administration

Many stories lie beneath her wrinkles and she is a devoted Christian whose love and kindness is not tainted by extreme opinion.  There is still time to sit down with her and record her stories and even though she will never know I'm a witch I want to remember her as a person.

Elders die and we move on, but their knowledge can be lost forever and this is why I'm going to make an effort and try to record my grandmother's stories.  This would honor her and keep her alive in a way before she passes on to where she believes she will end up.

How do you honor your ancestors?  I know it's more of a Samhain question, but sometimes there is only so much time before they go.

Monster of a Mother

Has it truly been almost three months since my last post? I severely apologize for the hiatus, but it was necessary for me to actually deal with some mundane issues. The most prominent one is my hoarding mother's health.

Currently she is at home, but she is going to dialysis, finally, to help with the collection of poison collecting in her body. She did not go until she fasted and took her insulin one night, bringing her sugars down to 20. However, when at home she still believes she is in control of her body and can order everyone around like her little drones.

There is no appreciation from her. It's strange to be a daughter and seeing the monster of a mother before you, slowly shrink into this little creature screaming for attention. I have the power now, we as a family have the strength to finally say no and it ticks her off.

Otherwise, I've been trying to keep busy making videos, writing and dating some guys, but it annoys me having to answer the same questions over and over again. I guess that's the price I pay when looking for somebody new.

As for my magickal life, nothing much happening at the moment. I am planning a Summer Solstice ritual for this week (yes I know it's late, but I'm still celebrating), but really I've been over worked and stressed and I haven't been focusing so much on my spirituality.

I feel horrible, but I truly need to make an effort, I need a break, I need energy and I need guidance, but I have to work for it.

Well, night and merry part.

Pagan Blog Prompt: Pagan Pride or Ego?

Provided by Pagan Blog Prompts

The Question Is:

In regards to Pagan Pride Day events and the like, "Do public gatherings serve your faith... or are they just big parties that serve the ego?"

I remember going to many Christian revivals as a child and I have to say they gave me a spiritual high so unimaginable it felt close to a addiction. However, it only stayed for a little while and I was left, cold, sad and alone in my spiritual self. There is no doubt in my mind that these experiences were authentic, but shallow.

Personally, I have never been to a Pagan Event, but I imagine it to be much the same, but different because I feel that there would be a lasting effect on me. It's about being free to express your love for the god or goddess you serve and knowing that there are physical presences beyond the ritual circle offer more substance. Because in the Christian mindset man is forever separate from God until death, but with Pagan beliefs, the god and goddess are here now, waiting for your fellowship.

This is the great divide between the two and it the power I felt as a Christian left me begging for more, but with the separation of God and man in play, it just leaves you empty in the end. So, I beleive a Pagan Event serves both the ego and the faith, because of their freedom in expression and the knowledge of the personal connection with the god and goddess now instead of waiting for death.