Monster of a Mother

Has it truly been almost three months since my last post? I severely apologize for the hiatus, but it was necessary for me to actually deal with some mundane issues. The most prominent one is my hoarding mother's health.

Currently she is at home, but she is going to dialysis, finally, to help with the collection of poison collecting in her body. She did not go until she fasted and took her insulin one night, bringing her sugars down to 20. However, when at home she still believes she is in control of her body and can order everyone around like her little drones.

There is no appreciation from her. It's strange to be a daughter and seeing the monster of a mother before you, slowly shrink into this little creature screaming for attention. I have the power now, we as a family have the strength to finally say no and it ticks her off.

Otherwise, I've been trying to keep busy making videos, writing and dating some guys, but it annoys me having to answer the same questions over and over again. I guess that's the price I pay when looking for somebody new.

As for my magickal life, nothing much happening at the moment. I am planning a Summer Solstice ritual for this week (yes I know it's late, but I'm still celebrating), but really I've been over worked and stressed and I haven't been focusing so much on my spirituality.

I feel horrible, but I truly need to make an effort, I need a break, I need energy and I need guidance, but I have to work for it.

Well, night and merry part.

Life is Life

Merry Meet!

I know I haven't been writing for a while and here is why:

My mother is in the hospital for a long fight and neglect of her diabetes.
I finally broke up with my fiance and have been hanging out with friends more.
I have been focusing more on school.

So, honestly life has been very busy for me.

I really just want to talk about how weird everything if falling into place for me recently. Months ago I asked the Goddess for someone to share my spirituality openly with and soon after I broke up with my fiance one of my friends started asking me a bunch of questions about Wicca and my personal beliefs.

I was honestly shocked and perused the relationship further and have examined it carefully with meditation and some divination. Right now it looks as if we are meant to be partners in life's crimes and perhaps even into a romantic relationship. I'm really trying to keep it cool, but it's really difficult to do so when your brain is constantly thinking inappropriate thoughts. LoL.

I also have been offered a head writing job with my friends start up business and I have this idea which I think will sell well if I connect with one of my parent's friends who sells cookies.

Life has never fallen into such a line for me before and I'm absolutely ecstatic about it and willing to work for it. It's strange how breaking off a burdensome relationship can be so enlightening. Not that I do not love my X as a friend, but I really believe we can never truly be the same or just friends ever again.

I just thought I'd drop my blog a line, if anyone is reading, so that's life.

Blessed be :)

Pie Has Been Found

After over two months of searching a lady called my cell phone and told me she had Pie in her back yard for over two weeks and was very thankful to find he had an owner. At the time I was still getting over a cold turned sinus infection and wondered if the night I called upon Bast to help me find my furry baby had anything to do with finally finding him. Of course at the time I was exhausted from coughing and saw floating hamburgers, but magick works in mysterious ways.

I wish I had called her sooner and perhaps he would have been home, but I'm a believer in doing everything mundane first before calling up the universe to help me. Also, I already tried a Fairy Cat Return spell about a month before with little results, so it seemed a little greedy to ask for help again from the powers that be.

However, I think in my sickly state Bast saw past my karma and decided I had paid it off by being persistent and desperate to find my furry baby. In short I learned a valuable lesson in respect for the animals you care for. It's not right to take advantage of them, because they are as dependent on you as a human child and are not to blame for personal problems, even when they fling kitty treats everywhere.

So, thank you Bast and the powers that be for bringing my kitty back to me.

Blessed be :)

Life Sucks, Then You Recover Over TIme

My mother is dying of kidney failure caused by her lack of control of her diabetes. I myself am a diabetic and it has been absolutely devastating having to suffer through her karma.

I say karma because she tried to control everything and everybody around her through abuse and aggression. Now she has absolutely no control over her health and life.

I really do not know what to do, I'm still angry at her and I feel it's very dangerous to do any magick when in this depressing state.

Currently I'm reading a self-help book, called Toxic Parents and it's been very painful to relapse through horrible memories from my lack of childhood.

This is why I haven't posted, I'm very stressed out and haven't had time to write anything profound or magickal.

Thanks for reading,
Blessed Be.