Tarot: Hearing Voices

Last night around midnight I heard a distinct 'boo' in my dreams and woke up.  I could feel the breath on my face and my boyfriend woke up too.


After waking up from lack of sleep I decided to ask my Heart of Faerie Oracle deck if there was something in my room.

The first card I drew was:

The Faerie of Youth


How I interpreted this card was yes there was something in my room because I used to see things in my youth.  I remember about 2 years ago I heard another voice at my parents house and it scared the goddess out of me.  I don't know what it said, but it didn't sound nice.


This 'boo' sounded playful but malicious at the same time, like it didn't want me to sleep that night.


The second card I drew was:

 The Prince of Shadows


This card told me it was a negative entity and potentially dangerous.  I didn't feel any danger at the moment, but it's better to error on the side of caution.


The last card I drew was:

The Blessing


Since my boyfriend and I moved in to this small cottage I haven't preformed a cleansing or spread any salt around the property to keep the negative entities out.  This voice may be a warning for things to come if I don't take care of the cleansing soon.


This reminds me of the time I tried to help my sister with something hanging around our parents house. After salting, preparing stones like granite and such, she finally used her tarot cards to communicate with it.


I like tarot cards personally because they can be very detailed about your situation in particular.  The pendulum doesn't work too well for me, even though they are great for quick answers.  Which form of divination works best for you?

Ants and Futuristic Wars: Dreams

Over the last two nights I remember strange dreams. The first night I can only remember about how a colony of ants were living in my new bed, but the location was my family home, not the apartment I'm living at. I remember me freaking out over the ants then I woke up.

Last night was a little more extensive. I was at a resort, very futuristic, it was like a indoor ski resort/spa. I seemed to be apart of a rebel group of sorts and there was this pink liquid that we threw like bombs. I don't remember what the bomb did, but it stopped working for some reason. I also remember being stuck in a mall like walkway system and loading up a gameboy color to play FF7. I was loading the game so I could escape into it and become Cloud (a female version), I don't think I was able to do this, because I woke up.

Yes, very strange dreams again.

I think it has something to do with how I'm scared about how my boyfriend's parents may ask the "When are you two going to get married?" question. This question terrifies me and I think I'm avoiding it subconsciously, even thought my boyfriend has told me his parents are very lax, I have a feeling they want to know WTF I'm doing with him.

Marriage? Not now. Kids? Medically speaking, not ever, maybe adoption. I don't need a ring for him to prove how much he loves me, he shows it by being kind, gentle, patient and supportive. Tying the knot scares me because I've only seen FAIL, sorry mom and dad but you're not the best example to a happy long marriage.

Sure they are still married but my mom is a medical train wreak because of her diabetes, my father is super stressed because my mom is a angry bitch and financial issues. It's not like any parents are perfect, but damn they are emotionally fucked up.

I think I just need to talk to my man about my feelings, because obviously my brain doesn't know how to shut up!

Blessed Be
Shadow Moon

Communication

Last night Angel, Sherman, my fiancé and I wend up Hicks road to watch the falling start. It was perfectly dark as we laid there on a blanket watching the colorful streaks pass through the milky way. We talked, laughed and joked only interrupting with a resounding “ooooooooh” when a star streaked past.

It was so amazing to be somewhere so quiet, where only the wind and crickets fill our ears, it’s rare to have these moments when you live in the city. The energy isn’t as rushed like it is in the city and it has a calming effect. But I think we tried to change it with out constant talking, we just couldn’t enjoy the quiet too long.

It would be nice to go up there alone mainly because it would be easier to enjoy the serene quiet. But there are times where it’s okay to just talk with others and have a good time under the infinite stars. There were no computers, phones, texting, it was authentic communication, where you could hear the voice and face at the same time,

The Pagan community itself seems spread thin and it is sometimes lonely in solidarity practice. I’m lucky to have some friends, but it would be nice to meet other Pagans without the use of the Internet, which is an awesome tool, but impersonal. One time I went to one of my local occult stores and just stared at by the other customers. I felt like I was intruding and it did not encourage me to open up either.

I wouldn’t have minded a small high, but all I felt was negativity. I have at least one good idea behind the Christian community, if you come into their church, you are usually greeted warmly, but with the Pagan community, it seems people are very guarded from each other.

This is one of the reasons why I’ve chosen to be a solitary. I don’t want to deal with drama, but I feel pretty lonely with just my books to keep me company. It just seems like the community is very hidden and skeptical to newbies. But I think it would be good to have some structure and learn from more experienced practitioners even if the coven doesn’t work out, at least you have the knowledge.