Dream: Surrogate Mother

Robertsan1 painter Schrotzberg died in 1926

I don't often have dreams, but when I do I try to write them down.  The phase of the moon was waxing gibbous, June 30, 2012.

This wasn't one of my strangest dreams, but it was strange for me to be expecting a baby.  I like nannying for children, but as for having one, I like to sleep in on weekends.

My boyfriend Mike and I were using a surrogate to have a child,  I saw the image of the child to be in my dream while Mike and I were at some sort of healthclub.  Apparently it was with the surrogates egg and his sperm she was pregnant, probably because my genetics were horrible.

I have diabetes, epilepcy, heart disease, cancer, altimerz all on my side of the family.  Mike's is realtivly healthy, so I imagine we decided to use the surrogates egg.

Tripton's Hand by
Portraitlady4306

I remember asking why Mike suddenly wanted a baby after we discussed not having children.  That's about the time I woke up.

I like to use dream moods for interpreting my dreams and went there and searched: surrogate, health club, baby, swiming pool and sperm.  he dream could be a literal interpretation, however I do not think so.  Considering my rededication to Wicca, I think it symbolizes more of a new beginning for me.  Even the health club has meaning, it could mean to apply what I have already learnd.  Even the surrogate was a symbol showing how I was missing my path in my life.

I rearely remember my dreams and think everyone I do remember as important.  Of course my boyfriend thinks a dream is just a dream.

Any strange dreams you would like to share?

Tarot: Hearing Voices

Last night around midnight I heard a distinct 'boo' in my dreams and woke up.  I could feel the breath on my face and my boyfriend woke up too.


After waking up from lack of sleep I decided to ask my Heart of Faerie Oracle deck if there was something in my room.

The first card I drew was:

The Faerie of Youth


How I interpreted this card was yes there was something in my room because I used to see things in my youth.  I remember about 2 years ago I heard another voice at my parents house and it scared the goddess out of me.  I don't know what it said, but it didn't sound nice.


This 'boo' sounded playful but malicious at the same time, like it didn't want me to sleep that night.


The second card I drew was:

 The Prince of Shadows


This card told me it was a negative entity and potentially dangerous.  I didn't feel any danger at the moment, but it's better to error on the side of caution.


The last card I drew was:

The Blessing


Since my boyfriend and I moved in to this small cottage I haven't preformed a cleansing or spread any salt around the property to keep the negative entities out.  This voice may be a warning for things to come if I don't take care of the cleansing soon.


This reminds me of the time I tried to help my sister with something hanging around our parents house. After salting, preparing stones like granite and such, she finally used her tarot cards to communicate with it.


I like tarot cards personally because they can be very detailed about your situation in particular.  The pendulum doesn't work too well for me, even though they are great for quick answers.  Which form of divination works best for you?

Ouija Anyone?

Yesterday I and my friends, went to San Francisco and Santa Cruz and bought a bunch of supplies. At the end of the day I showed my friends my garden and a spot where we think an “entity” hangs out.

She reveals herself to be a she and follows my sister from the street. Sherman, one of my friends, stated that it might be trapped somehow because of all the cracks in the street. Angel, my other friend, could feel something and suggested we have an ouija session at the nearby park. My sister also came because she seemed to be able to sense the entity.

At the park we called for a guide, but it was short lived and out totems came out to protect us. We moved the session to a bench and decided to call on the entity itself. We think it came, but who knows with ouija boards.

It seemed to have a short attention span and it said it was an nature spirit of some kind. It wants something, but didn’t tell us what. After many short sessions with this entity, a man, Steve, was walking is dogs and asked what we were doing, we told him an ouija board and asked to join.

Steve was very funny and his dogs were nice. We had one another spirit call him a douche-bag and we were laughing so hard. After he left we decided to pack up and I took Angel and Sherman home.

At home I couldn’t sleep that well and tried to imagine a force around me, but every noise kept me awake. I don’t think this entity wants to harm anyone, but I want it gone, because it won’t talk to us and it’s just creepy. Sherman suggested a XXX sign in brick dust and a statement of banishment with no loopholes, because it would make us pay later.

I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with ghosts, spirits or anything else right now, but I think my third eye is trying to break out because my head seems to hurt all the time, so maybe it is time for me to realize my full potential. But I’m scared and I don’t think there is weakness in that, it shows caution.

All I can do is look for the support of my friends and burn some frankincense, cedar and call on the goddess. Nothing can enter into my home without my permission, I just need to remember that and I should get some sleep tonight.

Making Incense is Painful

I have this really informative book, The Complete Book of Incense, Oils and Brews Scott Cunningham, and I really like it, it actually teaches you basic herb properties and how to make everything you need in your magickal life. In my first esbat, on July 7, 2009, I used one of Cunningham's' altar incense' and I think it worked wonderfully. However, last night it was a different story, I haven't been sleeping very well, so I decided to make myself a sleep assist, but it turned into a dream incense because I didn't have all the ingredients needed or the replacements the book says you can use.

So I decided to make:
2 part dried rose petals
2 parts lavender
and one part Cedar

This was still altered because I didn't have the lavender or rose oil I needed. So I set it up on my alter and tried to light the self-igniting charcoal, but it just wouldn't light. I kept burning my fingers hoping it would light the thing, but it would just spark for a few seconds and fizzle out. So I tried lighting a different one and still nothing, I tried putting sage oil on top, nothing, I tried setting it on fire, nothing.

The brand I used was Instant Swift-Light Charcoal and it failed. I probably bought a bad batch, but I'm going to buy the organic Charcoal next time for 25 cents more. It was so frustrating to make the incense that it made me even more tired, so I guess it succeeded it helping me sleep even with burnt fingers.

I probably will try again because I've never been able to remember my dreams really well and I would like to see if this helps me remember my dreams. I do remember one dream in particular with the a totem animal the horse in it.

I was on a journey through a zany version of my neighborhood stuck in my dad's BMW in first gear picking up adopted cousins and sisters, until I reach my home where all the cars from the neighborhood are there. One man tells me they are re-drawing the property lines and I head to my back yard where a horse is standing by an apple tree. "I'm looking for my mother's van, it's black, have you seen it?"
"It went that way." The horse said to me and I look to see car tracks leading into a deep wood. I thank the horse and went about my way, letting him eat the apples off the tree.

I toughly believe it was a dream to tell me, "Your going on a journey." I was, but I didn't know it yet. All the research I did about the Christian God lead me to this path of discovery and I hope I at least entertained you for a while.

Blessed Be