Wedding Dream

I've never dreamed of my wedding before, so this was a very strange dream for me to have and remember.

Lately I have not been happy with my fiance of 2 years because I do not think we are meant for each other, we're just too scared to look for anyone else.

In the dream, everything went wrong, mainly on the dress. It was stained, ripped, torn, to the point where I had to cover it up wit a shawl. But I was happy and my future husband held me so gently it was lovely.

He also looked nothing like my current fiance, dark hair, brown eyes, completely handsome. I was also skinny.

I personally believe it was a sign that there is someone better out there for me and despite disaster, it will all work out. It's so hard to move on from a long lasting relationship, we have been together for over ten years, it feels more like a divorce. Of course there is nothing horribly wrong wit the relationship, but I'm not happy and I deserve better, so I need to let go, focus on myself and maybe find someone on the way.

Remembering Dreams

I only remember a few of my dreams, but most of them are lost within my subconscious never to return. I've had dreams of talking horses, being stuck in a bathroom, kissing former boyfriends/crushes, running away on trains filled with sentient animals, visiting another world where a tribe was at war, ready to kill...I always wish I could remember my dreams better so I could learn from them or discover a past life, so I will be focusing on my meditation and try to assist with incense and stones to improve psychic ability.

I just beleive my dreams are important and feel like I'm missing out.

Blessed Be.

Making Incense is Painful

I have this really informative book, The Complete Book of Incense, Oils and Brews Scott Cunningham, and I really like it, it actually teaches you basic herb properties and how to make everything you need in your magickal life. In my first esbat, on July 7, 2009, I used one of Cunningham's' altar incense' and I think it worked wonderfully. However, last night it was a different story, I haven't been sleeping very well, so I decided to make myself a sleep assist, but it turned into a dream incense because I didn't have all the ingredients needed or the replacements the book says you can use.

So I decided to make:
2 part dried rose petals
2 parts lavender
and one part Cedar

This was still altered because I didn't have the lavender or rose oil I needed. So I set it up on my alter and tried to light the self-igniting charcoal, but it just wouldn't light. I kept burning my fingers hoping it would light the thing, but it would just spark for a few seconds and fizzle out. So I tried lighting a different one and still nothing, I tried putting sage oil on top, nothing, I tried setting it on fire, nothing.

The brand I used was Instant Swift-Light Charcoal and it failed. I probably bought a bad batch, but I'm going to buy the organic Charcoal next time for 25 cents more. It was so frustrating to make the incense that it made me even more tired, so I guess it succeeded it helping me sleep even with burnt fingers.

I probably will try again because I've never been able to remember my dreams really well and I would like to see if this helps me remember my dreams. I do remember one dream in particular with the a totem animal the horse in it.

I was on a journey through a zany version of my neighborhood stuck in my dad's BMW in first gear picking up adopted cousins and sisters, until I reach my home where all the cars from the neighborhood are there. One man tells me they are re-drawing the property lines and I head to my back yard where a horse is standing by an apple tree. "I'm looking for my mother's van, it's black, have you seen it?"
"It went that way." The horse said to me and I look to see car tracks leading into a deep wood. I thank the horse and went about my way, letting him eat the apples off the tree.

I toughly believe it was a dream to tell me, "Your going on a journey." I was, but I didn't know it yet. All the research I did about the Christian God lead me to this path of discovery and I hope I at least entertained you for a while.

Blessed Be