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Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Dream: 3 Friends, 2 Dead

by INVERTED
I guess Mike and I were living in an apartment complex again full of plants in the center.  We were showing it to some friends, one I knew Mike F. and another one, who I thought was Venkat but I remembered calling him Hijab.  I remember the apartment was very open and full of sunlight.  I looked upward to another apartment I think it was 289, a man in a wife beater, black cap and baggy jeans yells at us.

He ran down the stairs to our apartment and stood outside the large window and took out a gun.  Bang, bang, bang; one bullet in Mike's heart, Mike F.'s head and Hijab's throat.  I grab the guy in a fit of tears and just scream "Why?!" over and over again.  I let him go and call 911.

911 leaves me on the like for half and hour and for some reason each of their wounds has a button on them.  I have to press them to keep them all alive, finally 911 answers, but Mike wanted to just drive to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital I couldn't keep pressing all the buttons, so Mike F. and Hijab die, but I'm keeping Mike alive while driving down the road.

Let's look at the main symbols, thanks to Dreammoods.com:

Apartment: refers to finical and emotional state

boyfriend: a reflection of your current relationship with your boyfriend

shooter/gun: confrontation, anger, potential, danger, victimized, targeted

heart: how you are dealing with feelings, love, courage, truth, romance

throat: issues with saying what you think, feelings and expression

head: wisdom, rationality, understanding, not seeing a problem clearly

911: do not fear asking for help
by Fletcher6

3: life, vitality, imagination, inner strength, trilogy

This was a strange dream, but I think I understand what it means.  I'm living a well adjusted life at the moment and even if something goes horribly wrong I can still have some control over the situation.  I chose who to keep alive, I think this shows my love for Mike over any other consequence.  This dream was awful and I woke up shaking, but there was a message to be seen.

My life is stable at the moment, but it can change and I need to be ready for it.

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Dragon in the Middle

The only dragons I've ever felt fully depicted my fantasy of what an actual dragon should look like is Draco from "Dragonheart" and Sean Connery's voice didn't hurt either. "Eragon" was a great book but it was a POS on the movie screen because they blasted through the story and altered it to where it didn't seem to entrance me any more. One example is when Brom died in the book, I cried, but in the movie it was glazed over like a Krispy Cream doughnut. It disappointed me, enraged me and is one of the many reasons why my family will not see movies with me anymore.

Also, I couldn't get though the second book "Eldest" because the it felt like I was grinding in WOW. It was annoying, because it felt like it had to be a bigger book because Harry Potter always progressed to a larger page number, until it became as large as the whole Lord of the Ring series in book 7. I didn't care about the deserts between locations, I just wanted to read about the epic dragon battles and add some kick ass imagination, but no, I couldn't drag myself through the first 200 pages before I returned it to the library.

You could say I'm obsessed with dragons, I even wrote a poem about one of my fantasies, nothing too sexual, considering it was published in my Christian private schools literary magazine. I've always seen dragons as intelligent creatures who are the ultimate balance between the four elements and since I've been an whacked out Libra all my life I needed a magickal example because my life was only filled with horrible unrealistic ones, like "God works in mysterious ways".

Sadly, with real life, I've paid little attention to writing stories, drawing or just imagining my draconic companions, but I'm on the road to recovery because I've been drawing, crappily, again. I've always wanted to transform myself into a dragon and scarf down my bitch-mother, even if it did cause indigestion and draconic diabetes. It was a little sick fantasy and I used to protect myself from the bewildering hatred spewing out of my mother's mouth.

In short, I like dragons because I think they are a symbol of balance and they can eat annoying people whenever they want because they are teeth, claws, flight and fire. I don't like making them too bestial or too magic-preppie because there is just this charm of watching an intelligent creature who has no shame in ripping a flock of sheep to shreds. It's the bestial vs intelligence/magick factor I think becomes a huge barrier in most fantasy minds about dragons, much like the moral stance in video games like Fable, you can be either Satan or Jesus, but there is no middle man.

This is why I like "Dragonheart", it fits in the middle, has one of the sexiest voices ever, other than when David Kaye when he voiced Megaton in "Beast Wars" and I could imagine myself in the story easily. I hate movies like "Dragon Slayer", "Harry Potter" and "Rein of Fire", not only because they were wyverns advertised as dragons and very stupid. "D-War" was another disappointment mainly because the story was absolute crap. Shallow characters following a 2-D form of reincarnation in order to bring peace to the world while sacrificing their love just sucks.

The only other movie I can stand is "Flight of Dragons" which was based on a book by Peter Dickinson and the novel "The Dragon and the George" by Gordon R. Dickson. Good storytelling, epic characters, a little choppy on the background of some, but I can still watch it today and laugh my pants off when the dragons, Gorbash and Smrgol wake up from a drinking binge and the inn is destroyed. Watch it. Anyway, I think I'm just sick and tired of the extremism of dragons in stories, bestiality has it's place, but you loose the magic and it just becomes another hormone moister to kill. Also, when it becomes a magical best, they are just a little dry, especially when they suffer from battle retardation.

"Eragon", the book, did a decent job of obtaining the middle ground also, which is why I like it, even if I couldn't ground my body through the jagged writing of "Eldest". The relationship between the boy and his dragon was charming, sweet and it touched my fantasy button and rendered me almost helpless, even with the frakkin elves invading with there arrogant attitude, as with every fantasy nowadays.

I guess I like to see dragons as fallible creatures with wants beyond shiny-virgin and magic-crap, because they are my symbol in a way, or at least my desired symbol. I want to be balanced but also realize I have wants and needs that are rather complex, except when it comes to food.

Even stranger, my totem dragons seems to be a Lung, my rain dragon, so to speak, even though I seem to visually appeal to more western dragons. However, I do like their fluid shape and think they are gorgeous to look at. Mine is a silvery/white dragon with blue undertones with a simply elegant long body shape. I'll have to try and draw a picture of it sometime.