Sunday, August 16, 2009

Cool Orbs

Caught some cool orb images after I left some chocolate for the spirits in my garden.
These were the best images.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Invading Dream

I had a nightmare about Neo-Nazis coming into my house and taking over. They had Uzis, combat boots. My parents were out of the house and for some reason my co-worker Ande was there.

I tried to fight them, but that didn’t work, there were about fifty of them yelling, screaming, ready to set up a ritualistic fire in the back yard. Funny enough they didn’t take away our cell phones or computers, but they did cut the lines and set up an anti-cell signal.

I did finally escape and I was able to call the police, but I kept dialing the wrong number. Finally I escaped with some clothes up to my sister’s house. After I must have astro-projected back to the house to get some more things, then I was picked up by the police.

It was a scary dream, but usually I remember them if they are important. Perhaps it’s to warn be to protect myself from outside influences or even to remind me that I do have the power to astro-project. I think everyone does have the power because we all dream and visit different places.

I really didn’t like the place I visited last night, but I hope I can learn from it.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Last night Angel, Sherman, my fiancĂ© and I wend up Hicks road to watch the falling start. It was perfectly dark as we laid there on a blanket watching the colorful streaks pass through the milky way. We talked, laughed and joked only interrupting with a resounding “ooooooooh” when a star streaked past.

It was so amazing to be somewhere so quiet, where only the wind and crickets fill our ears, it’s rare to have these moments when you live in the city. The energy isn’t as rushed like it is in the city and it has a calming effect. But I think we tried to change it with out constant talking, we just couldn’t enjoy the quiet too long.

It would be nice to go up there alone mainly because it would be easier to enjoy the serene quiet. But there are times where it’s okay to just talk with others and have a good time under the infinite stars. There were no computers, phones, texting, it was authentic communication, where you could hear the voice and face at the same time,

The Pagan community itself seems spread thin and it is sometimes lonely in solidarity practice. I’m lucky to have some friends, but it would be nice to meet other Pagans without the use of the Internet, which is an awesome tool, but impersonal. One time I went to one of my local occult stores and just stared at by the other customers. I felt like I was intruding and it did not encourage me to open up either.

I wouldn’t have minded a small high, but all I felt was negativity. I have at least one good idea behind the Christian community, if you come into their church, you are usually greeted warmly, but with the Pagan community, it seems people are very guarded from each other.

This is one of the reasons why I’ve chosen to be a solitary. I don’t want to deal with drama, but I feel pretty lonely with just my books to keep me company. It just seems like the community is very hidden and skeptical to newbies. But I think it would be good to have some structure and learn from more experienced practitioners even if the coven doesn’t work out, at least you have the knowledge.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Luck Spells and Money

I preformed a luck spell today as I entered some survey contests and as the smoke rose I could feel the energy flowing though my body. Small slivers of light danced as the incense drifted through. The smell is robust and strong and I chanted for the spirits of luck to hear me and drink in the aroma.

The energy shook through me as I sent out my visual plea to win some extra cash. I don’t think this is selfish in the least because in the long run financial stability promotes good for everyone. And I wasn’t asking for the money, but luck in winning the money, which I think is even less biased.

There seems to be some controversy in the ethics on money spells mainly because it’s free. This is untrue however, because it takes time, often money and effort for a spell to work. The only reason why I would say no to casting a money spell is when the caster is expecting it for nothing or no effort. But if they are currently working or looking for a job, there is no harm to spell some extra cash your way.

Money is an object given value by a society, it’s bartering with government paper. But it is what the landlord wants for rent, so I suggest you pay with bills and not cookies. Personally, I rather do an exchange system, I could write a poem, wash your dishes, baby-sit kids, my skills maybe small, but I do not fear work.

I think money promotes greed, unhappiness, unhealthy desires, especially when it looses its toll status and becomes a die hard necessity. Today it is necessary to have money, but it’s tool to buy food and other needs and wants. However, it does not bring joy, happiness, self-satisfaction, it is merely an aid to the means.

I see no problem with money spells as long as you use them responsibly and do not rely on them for success. But be careful, everything come back, good and bad.

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Dragon in the Middle

The only dragons I've ever felt fully depicted my fantasy of what an actual dragon should look like is Draco from "Dragonheart" and Sean Connery's voice didn't hurt either. "Eragon" was a great book but it was a POS on the movie screen because they blasted through the story and altered it to where it didn't seem to entrance me any more. One example is when Brom died in the book, I cried, but in the movie it was glazed over like a Krispy Cream doughnut. It disappointed me, enraged me and is one of the many reasons why my family will not see movies with me anymore.

Also, I couldn't get though the second book "Eldest" because the it felt like I was grinding in WOW. It was annoying, because it felt like it had to be a bigger book because Harry Potter always progressed to a larger page number, until it became as large as the whole Lord of the Ring series in book 7. I didn't care about the deserts between locations, I just wanted to read about the epic dragon battles and add some kick ass imagination, but no, I couldn't drag myself through the first 200 pages before I returned it to the library.

You could say I'm obsessed with dragons, I even wrote a poem about one of my fantasies, nothing too sexual, considering it was published in my Christian private schools literary magazine. I've always seen dragons as intelligent creatures who are the ultimate balance between the four elements and since I've been an whacked out Libra all my life I needed a magickal example because my life was only filled with horrible unrealistic ones, like "God works in mysterious ways".

Sadly, with real life, I've paid little attention to writing stories, drawing or just imagining my draconic companions, but I'm on the road to recovery because I've been drawing, crappily, again. I've always wanted to transform myself into a dragon and scarf down my bitch-mother, even if it did cause indigestion and draconic diabetes. It was a little sick fantasy and I used to protect myself from the bewildering hatred spewing out of my mother's mouth.

In short, I like dragons because I think they are a symbol of balance and they can eat annoying people whenever they want because they are teeth, claws, flight and fire. I don't like making them too bestial or too magic-preppie because there is just this charm of watching an intelligent creature who has no shame in ripping a flock of sheep to shreds. It's the bestial vs intelligence/magick factor I think becomes a huge barrier in most fantasy minds about dragons, much like the moral stance in video games like Fable, you can be either Satan or Jesus, but there is no middle man.

This is why I like "Dragonheart", it fits in the middle, has one of the sexiest voices ever, other than when David Kaye when he voiced Megaton in "Beast Wars" and I could imagine myself in the story easily. I hate movies like "Dragon Slayer", "Harry Potter" and "Rein of Fire", not only because they were wyverns advertised as dragons and very stupid. "D-War" was another disappointment mainly because the story was absolute crap. Shallow characters following a 2-D form of reincarnation in order to bring peace to the world while sacrificing their love just sucks.

The only other movie I can stand is "Flight of Dragons" which was based on a book by Peter Dickinson and the novel "The Dragon and the George" by Gordon R. Dickson. Good storytelling, epic characters, a little choppy on the background of some, but I can still watch it today and laugh my pants off when the dragons, Gorbash and Smrgol wake up from a drinking binge and the inn is destroyed. Watch it. Anyway, I think I'm just sick and tired of the extremism of dragons in stories, bestiality has it's place, but you loose the magic and it just becomes another hormone moister to kill. Also, when it becomes a magical best, they are just a little dry, especially when they suffer from battle retardation.

"Eragon", the book, did a decent job of obtaining the middle ground also, which is why I like it, even if I couldn't ground my body through the jagged writing of "Eldest". The relationship between the boy and his dragon was charming, sweet and it touched my fantasy button and rendered me almost helpless, even with the frakkin elves invading with there arrogant attitude, as with every fantasy nowadays.

I guess I like to see dragons as fallible creatures with wants beyond shiny-virgin and magic-crap, because they are my symbol in a way, or at least my desired symbol. I want to be balanced but also realize I have wants and needs that are rather complex, except when it comes to food.

Even stranger, my totem dragons seems to be a Lung, my rain dragon, so to speak, even though I seem to visually appeal to more western dragons. However, I do like their fluid shape and think they are gorgeous to look at. Mine is a silvery/white dragon with blue undertones with a simply elegant long body shape. I'll have to try and draw a picture of it sometime.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Location, location, location

Yesterday morning I woke up about an hour before my alarm went off so I decided to have a mini yoga session and meditate. It felt so good to do yoga again and I decided to search for my wolf-spirit totem during my meditation.

I was in my field of red flowers and began to visualize dancing and picked flowers into a bundle. The air was cool, crisp and soft as I entered the dark woods. Trees stood silent and I called to my wolf, who came. It was male with a salt n’ peppered coat and white underside he lead me to his family who were deep in the wood. All those furry bodies pressed up against me and I smiled at peace.

It was a nice start to a long working day and I’m so thankful to have Thursday off because I have to perform my Esbat very late in order to prevent any witch burning. It’s my time to give thanks to the goddess and god, especially because I have more working hours now, which I needed.

My fiancĂ© called and I was just so irritated and I feel really bad for it because how is he supposed to feel comfortable asking me questions about Wicca if I’m so mad? I need to just count to ten and focus on balancing my elements before I speak, also taking some Ibuprofen wouldn’t hurt either.

So I explained to him about the full moon and why I was performing the ritual. He was very receptive and I appreciate that because the last thing I need is to feel closed off from my lover.

I tried to do my ritual at the local park, but the energy was all wrong. Also the moon was being covered by clouds most of the time, but I preformed the ritual anyway and gave thanks to Luna for all her gifts and left some wine and bread for the earth.

I’m wondering if I’m doing these rituals right. I set up the representations of the god and goddess, invoke the four directions, cast circle, give thanks, but I think it has a lot to do with the energy already there also. My yard has a small oasis where I planted wildflowers and the energy just feels right for ritual. At the park though I felt frightened and aware of every chirp in the night.

I think it’s good to find new locations for ritual so you can know for yourself what energy works for you personally. I would love to find another location that is isolated from everyone, but since I live in the city it’s pretty hard to locate. I’m also scared of going too far off because I don’t want to fall into a big mess of trouble.

I’m so glad I’m on this path of discovery and would love to hear your comments.

Blessed Be.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Pig Dream

I don’t normally remember my dreams but last night I had a dream of having a miniature pig and giving it a bath in my little bathroom sink. The funny thing is it transformed from a black and white striped pig into a pink domesticated pig. I also remember it speaking to me, but I don’t remember all the words. I think it was mostly about why do you want me as your pet? And such.

It could be my subconscious asking why I’m so scared of letting go of my wild side, but I think it’s telling me not to let go because being domesticated is so mundane. I really don’t know what to say, I tend to remember my really important dreams and perhaps this is telling me to be in touch with my wild side and forget my inhibitions so I can really experience life.

It feels like a warning, never to be someone’s pet, follow your instincts, don’t loose your nature when living within the bounds of society. I really thought the pig was cute and it was so strange to how I washed away it’s natural markings for a domestic pink. It didn’t really struggle it just mostly asked why I was washing this away.

It’s like taking a shower and washing off the day, but I think society does more than just coat our skin, it tells us we can’t do things, magick doesn’t exist, Christianity is the only path, live to work, the world brainwashes us until we are socially acceptable like a domesticated pig.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Mixing Politics with Religion and Instant Gatification

I was thinking about my old friend and the cruelest words he ever said to me, ‘A liberal-Christian is a Christian who doesn't have any beliefs.’ The fact was I did believe in God but I interpreted the Bible differently, because I realized most of it was just opinion written down, an age ago, by men. I don’t mean to bash men, in fact I think they are the luckiest beings in existence, especially when they have to deal with an intelligent woman.

My question is why is there so much attention on mixing religion and politics? Not all Christians are Republican and not all Pagans are Democrat, that is political stereotyping and it’s wrong. I just wanted to worship God and believe prostitution and drugs should be legalized, but when most Christians heard my views they labeled me as a radical feminist-liberal-Democrat-wiener and attempted to right my beliefs to the proper order.

In reality I don’t consider myself as a real liberal, I want people to own guns, I want the government to butt out of private affairs, I want politicians to vote for the good of the whole and not themselves, but I want health care, I want to legalize illegal substances to pay off Americas deficit, I want my car to run on a dream, I want my freedoms damnit and that’s that.

Honestly, I don’t know what category I fit into, you could say I’m Libertarian, a very enlightened concept, but like Communism, when people are involved it fails horribly. People are greedy and selfish, I don’t blame this on an evil force, but American upbringing has gone to a very dark place, where everything is met with instant gratification and a whine.

I’m bad, I want instant gratification too, but working in retail has altered my thoughts quite a bit because I have seen a side of humanity, the IwantthisnowexactlyhowIwantitandthecustomerisalwaysright! side. Instant doesn’t exist, it takes time for things to grow, like my garden, and I am so lucky I learned the lessons of using my hands and smashing my fingers with tolls through the blood and dirt of shoveling.

This instant quick satisfaction also affects politics because we the people don’t see much into the future beyond four years, especially young people, if they vote at all. I’ve voted in every election from presidential to local, except for California’s May thing, and I’m proud. But when I speak to others my age, they blow it off with an anarchist attitude and then complain about their government…stupid. Not all of my age group is like this, but holy-flying-monkey-farts, if you want to change something, google it and then vote on it please!

Nobody wants to do anything anymore and it frustrated me to no end because I’m a natural fighter for my beliefs and rights to a bitter end. This instant gratification is ruining our humanity, nature is, humans are, everything runs on its own schedule, but we humans keep on trying to alter things, speed up, got to school, work and die, that’s it! I don’t want to live life for instant then I’m done with it, I want to live life like a Native American, but with air conditioning and good health care, where the sun is the clock and the seasons move slowly and effortlessly, where everything blends like a beautiful painting.

Whose with me? Who wants to live life to the seasons and not seconds? Who wants to think a head and learn from the past? Who wants to change this world for the better?

Blessed be.