Thursday, August 6, 2009

Location, location, location

Yesterday morning I woke up about an hour before my alarm went off so I decided to have a mini yoga session and meditate. It felt so good to do yoga again and I decided to search for my wolf-spirit totem during my meditation.

I was in my field of red flowers and began to visualize dancing and picked flowers into a bundle. The air was cool, crisp and soft as I entered the dark woods. Trees stood silent and I called to my wolf, who came. It was male with a salt n’ peppered coat and white underside he lead me to his family who were deep in the wood. All those furry bodies pressed up against me and I smiled at peace.

It was a nice start to a long working day and I’m so thankful to have Thursday off because I have to perform my Esbat very late in order to prevent any witch burning. It’s my time to give thanks to the goddess and god, especially because I have more working hours now, which I needed.

My fiancĂ© called and I was just so irritated and I feel really bad for it because how is he supposed to feel comfortable asking me questions about Wicca if I’m so mad? I need to just count to ten and focus on balancing my elements before I speak, also taking some Ibuprofen wouldn’t hurt either.

So I explained to him about the full moon and why I was performing the ritual. He was very receptive and I appreciate that because the last thing I need is to feel closed off from my lover.

I tried to do my ritual at the local park, but the energy was all wrong. Also the moon was being covered by clouds most of the time, but I preformed the ritual anyway and gave thanks to Luna for all her gifts and left some wine and bread for the earth.

I’m wondering if I’m doing these rituals right. I set up the representations of the god and goddess, invoke the four directions, cast circle, give thanks, but I think it has a lot to do with the energy already there also. My yard has a small oasis where I planted wildflowers and the energy just feels right for ritual. At the park though I felt frightened and aware of every chirp in the night.

I think it’s good to find new locations for ritual so you can know for yourself what energy works for you personally. I would love to find another location that is isolated from everyone, but since I live in the city it’s pretty hard to locate. I’m also scared of going too far off because I don’t want to fall into a big mess of trouble.

I’m so glad I’m on this path of discovery and would love to hear your comments.

Blessed Be.