Lost in Religion

Am I slowly becoming an Atheist?

I have done so much research into so many religions, and still need to do more of course, and thought I found Wicca to be mine, but it's not really.  I hardly follow any of the holidays of esbats and my alter is in complete shambles.

Perhaps it is from pure laziness, but I think structured religion of any sort isn't for me.  I can feel the spirituality of the earth and plants, but I feel like I waste too much energy trying to connect.  I rather focus on my art and make it my religious experience.

by Purnima Koli

With this lack of motivation in keeping a traditional Wiccan calendar I think I need to stop wasting my energy looking for spirituality and just let it happen naturally though my art.  This could be a newfound magick for me, perhaps I just need to stop neglecting it.

I know there are witches out there who have no religious connection, perhaps this is the path for me, considering there is nothing invalid about perusing your art and making a soulful connection to the world, I find a special solace rather than panic in evolving my perspective on the many paths people take spiritually.

Honestly, the words, the practice, the calendar never sat well with me, but I tried and explored, however I feel hallow when I shallowly try and have decided to let my heart take me where I should be.

I will not stop posting, but the journey has changed.

Faith Healers

This is just a general opinion, I'm not targeting any specific faith healer.  On Paganspace.com there is a post about a young woman hurt by her mother when the mother asked her daughter not to pray to her fake gods for her health.  The topic leads to faith healing when more information reveals how the mother's minister tells her she will be healed by faith, not medication.


I'm no fan of over prescribing antibiotics, but when you have a chronic condition or a deadly one I don't think doctors are trying to kill you any faster.  There is nothing wrong with looking to faith to help heal you, but reputable herbalists and Riki workers will tell their patients to seek modern medical help along with their alternative testaments.


The statement may be just a legal nicety, but I believe using both alternative and Western medicine can aid in healing the body and soul.  Western doctors tend to treat the symptoms and find the cause later, perhaps a little spiritual guidance is what the mind needs when prospecting suffering and pain?  If yoga, riki, herbal remedies, meditation make you feel better why not try them?  

by Mysid

There is no harm in trying alternative techniques, however, if anyone tells you to ignore medical advice and says only they can heal you, roll your eyes and walk away.  Faith is one idea, but absolute trust in an individual who goes beyond simple assistance and into I'm the one territory is dangerous.  There are many people who just want to be healed and have their pain go away, but this want doesn't mean throwing caution to the wind.


Do not let people take advantage of your hope, it's yours, trust a few people with it alone because if it sounds unbelievable, it probably is.


Have you ever been scammed by a spiritual practitioner?

What are Pagans fighting for?

by Niusereset

I recently listened to Pagan Centered Podcasts (PCP) 214-216, 239 and 240 for help with my drama on Paganspace.net recently.

The drama was over and done with, but what did the confrontation mean in the longer life run?  The drawn out debate wasn't pointless, but I learned how to handle it better next time.  If someone has a personal problem with me I will try to keep it private, publically stating this of course and hopefully comeing to a resonable discussion off the flame war board.

I meditated on the point of me being a warrior for Luna and recieved a question back, "What are you fighting for?"  This question made me aware about how lost I was about where I need to be.  I can't just pick useless fights, I need to do something with my fighting spirit to help the community, not add fire to the drama.

People in general are drawn to drama, but what is the Pagan community fighting for.  PCP points out how Pagans hang on the tail ends of any universal ideal important to us; gay rights, religious rights, employment rights just to name a few.  The Pagan community cannot just take a backseat in other's protests, letting them do all the work while we cheer at the victory.

I'm not saying there aren't Pagans out there who don't stand up and take a frontal position in social protecting, but I'm concerned the larger community is complacent in preforming their occult practices behind closed doors.

However, if Pagans stay behind closed doors public pagan figures like Fiona Horne, Silver Ravenworlf, Edain McCoy and others will continue to sell a false history and money hungry image.  Even if you want to stay in the broom closet, like me, there are ways to take a stand in the Pagan community.  I write a blog, Brook Stargazer has a podcast and even just talking to individuals about your fatih can help bring about a change in perception about Pagans.

How will you change the Pagan community?

Why Did I Choose Paganism?

My response to a post at Paganspace.net:

When you're a child growing up on Christianity you were taught God can change the world and you could be apart of it if you were faithful.  Slowly you discovered the world wasn't fair, regardless of your boundless faith and belief, becoming angry at the injustices allowed to happen while God does nothing while you pray.

Later, you actually read the Bible, trying to understand it, dissecting it, analyzing it like a real historical text and realized it doesn't stand up to common logic.  You asked why were the four Gospels written about 70 years after Jesus' death?  Why are there no authenticated outside records of Jesus' life, or even the earthquake hitting Jerusalem after his death? 

As you researched more, you found the Jews worshiped multiple gods at one time and Yahweh, or Jealousy, was the one surviving over the ages.  You realized the Bible wasn't written all at once, and there was no way for any one man to follow all the rules.  You understood the cultural and historical context of the words and sought out understanding the original Hebrew, Arabic and Greek translations by scholars. You looked at other religions and saw patterns with Buddha, The Sin Eater, Osiris and Isis close to the story of Jesus.  Opening and understanding brought you a new belief applying to all religions on a path of "do as you will, but harm none."

You took control of your life, with this new found knowledge and through yourself stop in injustice overflowing to another generation in your family.  You didn't pray, you said stop, took the heat from your family for revealing a dark secret and are now stronger for it.

When I finally found the power within myself to confront my family for my abuse, my sisters abuse and my nieces abuse this is when I knew I wasn't Christian, I am something else.  I am a warrior for justice, called by Luna after much meditation and study living my life without fear of judgement.

Why did you choose Paganism?

Spontaneous or Structured Rituals

by Fer Doirich

I really do try to plan for a ritual, but life doesn't always give me enough time to go through the entire process I like.  My process may differer from others, but if I really have the time this is my process:

1. I prepare all of my tools, herbs, oils and whatever else I need.

2. Take a shower and visualize the water cleansing me.  You can rub with salt, but I use a nice organic soap and it doesn't irritate my skin.

3. I put on some loose fitting clothes.  I live in an urban area so I can't exactly go skyclad.

4. I try to go outside and do my ritual, but sometimes the weather doesn't permit.

5. I then ground myself, Ariel has a great meditation for this, #26 Lesson 2 (A)

6. Lastly, cast circle and I preform my ritual.

by Nyo

Sometimes I skip one or two steps, but I always try to ground myself so I'm not up for the next week bubbling with energy.  I remember my first Esbat and I did not ground myself, I was up for a week beeming with energy, but I was so tired.

I really do try to plan out most of my rituals, mainly because I like to make an effort.  There are only 21 rituals a year, unless I decide to do a spell.  I haven't really done any spells lately, I haven't the need, really I just need to work on my mundane life mundanely.

Going through the effort is a sign of respect to the dieties, directions and any other enities called upon.  I'm inviting them to my ritual, being prepared is just curtious.  It would be just rude to throw it together last minitue and hope for even an average expierence.

How do you prepare for your ritiuals?

Calling Yourself a Wiccan

by Malcolm Lidbury (aka Pinkpasty)

There is some debate about if you are a true Wiccan if you are solitary.  I believe you are, considering all religions evolve and change with the times.  Even in the Christian faith there are churches who accept gays, promote a modern view of men and women and honestly follow Jesus' ways.


Wicca is no different, from Gerald Gardner who created the first recognized branch of Gardnerian Wicca to Cunningham's Solitary branch of Wicca, this Pagan path evolves with the people who follow it.  I do not think Wicca is an inflexible path, but many think it is Gardanian (or a variance created by a student of Gardner) or nothing.


Fairie, Dianic, Green, Seax Wica, Alexandrian, Eclectic and many more scattered throughout the world.  Some are recognized as "official" traditions, others are not, I personally belong to an Eclectic Solitary path, mainly because I haven't found a tradition I like.

by Zoeysixx

Recently I've been harassed by another Pagan, who considers himself an Eclectic-Neo-Pagan, which is fine, but says I am not a Wiccan based solely on my solitary path.  He does not consider this path valid just on the one note it is not apart of a coven.  I think it is truly sad how he judges people and doesn't even try to speak with them.


I think if you follow the Wiccan Rede, practice the esbats and sabbats and  believe the universe is made up of god and goddess entities you are a Wiccan.  However, you can only become a priest/priestess if you are initiated to a coven.


Of course you can self dedicate, but this just makes you dedicated to the gods and goddess' you will honor.  If you want to go beyond self dedication, to become a certified elder in a tradition, you have to join a tradition.  However, it doesn't mean you shouldn't read every book you come across about Paganism, Wicca, witchcraft or anything that interests you, because you are a valued member of the community and need to be an educated one.


These are just my personal beliefs and have no negative standing against becoming apart of a coven.  But if you feel drawn to the path of Wicca, learn, live and blessed be.


The post was closed and the aggressor banned from the site, you can read it for yourself, but mainly I just told him off for his arrogance of "I'm right and you're wrong" mentality.  In the end I called him a coward for just attacking me, of course I was reacting, but I felt I needed to fight for my personal choice.  

by pbyrne

He refused to contact anyone else about his views, podcast or otherwise, because he was "being smart" by avoiding harassment for his views.  I was willing to guard, defend and take the heat, he obviously was not and was banned for his actions.  There was no right or wrong, but I tried to be concise with my words and not mean to offend.


After all this debate I really want to understand the different paths and why they are different so, what is your path?

Paganspace.net

Betsythedevine Photoshopped 

version of public sign

People come and go, but I stand by a statement, "internet + anonymous = douchebag"  I really try not to be a troll on forums.  My definition of a troll is someone who argues no matter what position you have on the issue.


Trolls are common because they get away with being trolls under anonymous means and the policies are not condemning enough for just verbal vomit, because a smart troll never  says anything too offensive.  The best way to handle a troll is not to feed one.


There are so many different Pagans there questions are bound to be answered in many different ways.  Let's just take the basic question discussion of I'm New to Wicca.  Within a few posts the discussion has brought up solitary vs initiated Wicca.


I'm in the camp where you don't need to join a coven to be a Wiccan.  You can practice, study and learn all on your own, creating a personal version of Wicca.  I'm no saying I'm the best Wiccan ever, but I do follow most of the practices, even if I don't agree with the complete Wiccan rede.

Image:Wiccan_Triple_Moon_3.PNG 

(now deleted)

Personally, I haven't found a coven I really like, although I'm considering joining the Firefly Academy to help encourage my studies and become apart of a larger group.  Brook the iPod Witch recommends them, and she doesn't have time or money, so I think they would be a good choice for a hard working nanny/student like myself.


With just this one discussion there are many different opinions, trolls and values being posted.  This well rounded view is why I like Paganspace.  I did join another Pagan social site, The Pagan Veil, but I haven't found it as fast paced or responsive.


I strongly support discussion between different faiths and I think Paganspace is one place to start.


You have a profile on paganspace?  Drop me a line.

Skeptoid Energy Work

I heard this on Skpetoid about how energy is a measurement of work, not just a label for anything unexplained.


Although he is very critical of New Age practices and many other spiritual findings, I do see how the Pagan community and people in general misuse the word energy.  He uses a great example as to how to test using the word energy appropriately:


"Here's a good test. When you hear the word "energy" used in a spiritual or paranormal sense, substitute the phrase "measurable work capability." Does the usage still make sense? Are you actually being given any information that supports the claim being made? Remember, energy itself is not the thing being measured: energy is the measurement of work performed or of potential"


My question is what can the Pagan community call this "energy" we work with so often to meditate, create spells, make wands, communicate desires and so much more?  I have a few ideas: will, spirit, higher self can be just a few samples to what the "energy" you work with is.


Even in his own commentary about his friend:


"A friend told me of her ability to perform minor healings, and her best explanation was that she drew energy from another dimension. "


If we just replace the word "energy" the word "dimensional spirit" it makes more sense and ignores the misuse of the word energy.  If the Pagan community wants to be taken seriously in our practices we have to use proper terms for what we are working with, energy just doesn't cut it for explaining what we do.


I personally believe I draw on the spirits of the earth, wind, water and fire when I call a circle.  Perhaps when I open my chakras I am connecting with my higher self to attune with my body.  While casting a spell I will it to happen.  Moving beyond the word energy is one of the steps to leading a scientific eye to our practices.


At this moment science may not be able to explain god, goddess or all the universe but if we don't open our doors to our thoughts they may never find out. 


  

Mundane Work and Healthcare

I decided to play with my Ouija board again and my boyfriend is joining me tonight.  II'm kind of excited and hope it will work out.

Sometimes I find the Ouija board will not work very well for me, but as long as it's fun I don't really care if it works very well.  Of course I'm setting up a protection circle, spraying some sage and using protection oils just in case.  I haven't cleansed the house, except for a vacuum, since we moved in here in February.

I don't feel any negativity from this house, in fact I think some fairies are hanging out in my garden, I'll have to take some pictures when the flowers start to bloom.

I did pick up some supplies today, with my friend John, at the witchy store by the sea, because sometimes I just want to visit the ocean and chill.  Not chilling today though because I had videos to make and I'm still a little tired from yesterday.

I purchased some sage spray and protection oil and we stayed at the beach for a moment to make a quick video.

I'm really trying to just get my magickal groove back and focus on my art I've started but haven't finished because I was working six days a week for about a month.

I really can't imagine working two jobs, it kills me because you never have a break, especially from the mundane things like cooking dinner, cleaning, washing clothes, shopping, ect.  Celebrities have people to do those mundane activities for them, pointed out by Craked.com for why talking advice from rich people would be a dumb idea; celebrities do not live in a poor person's reality.

It's weird how you decide not to allow time for yourself because of all the mundane going on all around you.  You forget about magick and focus all your energy to just moving your car, your work, your schedule  and your emotions around to just to zombie your way through life.

It reminds me of the book The Working Poor where people just work until the drop because the government failed them.  

I'm pissed off with not being able to afford health insurance.  The minimum is about $100, but I have diabetes, so who knows how high it can go up.  

Everyone knows when people aren't covered, everyone suffers from high cost patients with no way to pay.  I honestly believe a healthy people is a happy people and why government is so against letting voters be happy.

People say it costs too much, but when someone goes bankrupt because of medical bills, I think that price is too high to pay.  America is the only first world country without a government run medical system, obviously it works if the rest of the world is using it.

Sometimes having one part of your life in chaos impedes the development or structure of others, my health may or may not be in order, although I do try to avoid carbs and sugar.  Seeking spiritual calm will only help, so why not keep up the dedication to my path.

Becoming balanced in one way will help steamroll the others into like I think, so I'm just going to live and meditate on life for the time being.

 

Lazy Environmentalist

Merry Meet all!

 I haven't written in a long time, mainly because I haven't done anything magickal in a while, but that's ok because I'm finally have a job in the field I want and that is Child Development. Technically I'm a nanny for one 3 year old girl and the sister as soon as she starts to crawl. I'm just happy and all I have to do is free play with her while the mom works. Oh, joy.

I'm going back to school for my credentials so perhaps I can find a career as a child care provider. Everything is going pretty well, moved to a tiny little cottage in the downtown area, love it, it has a huge backyard where I'm planting a garden. I guess I'm just trying to be a better blogger, I have no excuse, but some days I just forget or I'm just lazy.

Well, anyway I'm trying to rededicate myself and I hope this works. Recently I have watched too many environmental documentaries, now I feel very depressed because not matter what I do I feel like it's not enough.

I recycle.
Buy environmentally friendly cleaning products.
Buy organic bathing products.
Shop at the local farmers market and organically when I can.
I am growing a garden.
I'm also composting.

But I feel like I'm just a small dot. I know I am, but am I making a difference, sure, but I feel like I should be doing more and I guess that's a motivating idea to build on. I would like to stop buying soda, switch to cloths for cleaning, use glass bottles for my personal cleaning products, make my own home cleaning products, build a water storage, form a small community garden and, and, and...so much....

There is just always something out their ready to damage my quality of life and health to almost the point of paranoia. But, I can only do what I can do because of money, time and energy, so one step at a time right?

Oh, and of course as soon as I want to start taking actual classes at the Firefly Academy the school is closed for maintenance after this semester. Only for a month, but still, lol, only after I want to apply. I think I need community, but where I live kind of sucks magickally, but maybe I need to look again on Going or Meetup, I've never gone to any of the actual Pagan events, so try it before I jump into some online bit? I like people, but if they are just a bunch of immature teenagers pretending to sparkle or whatever, forget it.

Anywhoo, I will write soon. Blessed be!

Bring Your WItchy Stuff

I did have concerns about my boyfriend freaking out over all of my witchy stuff ( just because he is agnostic doesn't mean completely accepting). I asked for some advice from my friend Jon and he said, "Just do it! Bring your stuff! If he freaks out then it's something you need to talk about." He was right. My boyfriend didn't freak out, he actually kind of enjoys my things sparking off a little bit of my personality in our apartment.

Yes ours. I basically moved out and I'm loving the freedom and the taking responsibility for my own actions and life. I don't have to hide anything anymore, I can just be myself and celebrate it with my new love. Honestly I think he thinks being a witch is kind of sexy. lol

Don't let anybody you can't do something, especially if it is apart of your soul.

Blessed be in harmony,
Shadow Moon.

Are Love Spells Harmless?

This was a question I asked before performing a love spell, and my answer is yes and no, mainly because every spell and every person is different.

Recently I just broke up from my fiancé and I hate to sound desperate, but I needed a little love in my life. I’m really trying not to peruse anyone, but I wouldn’t mind if a certain someone falls into my love life soon.

I am in no way trying to make the person fall in love with me, but really just trying to open up the right channels to let love thrive again.

There is a large difference between just opening up for love and trying to convince another to love you by spell force. I personally believe this is wrong on many levels, but mostly to the person who is being charmed.

Also, there is the question if you do find love, is it real or just a manipulation done by the spell? Again, this has to do with the formulation of the spell. If it was just to have love opened then the love you find is most likely true, but if it is built on manipulation, then it’s most likely false.

So in short, love spells are only good if the person seeking love has true intentions.

What I Hope For Chrisianity

Christianity is the major religion around the Western world. Do I think this could change, it could he a likely possibility, however, I rather see religions just tolerate each other or at least ignore one another. Christianity itself has some historical backing from their Jewish dedication to writing the Torah, but history is written by the winners and it is only assumed no mistakes were made. In fact, there is evidence that at one time Judaism was polytheistic.

Links:

http://www.cyberessays.com/History/93.htm

http://www.errancy.org/polytheistic.html


http://books.google.com/books?id=KnIYRi3upbEC&dq=the+christ+conspiracy+the+greatest+story+ever+sold&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=x-wVS_WgJIr8tQOyj6D9Aw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CBsQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Christianity is based on thousands of years of tradition. Traditions long dead for the most part. We will never truly know what life was like thousands of years ago, much like the ancient witch traditions. Assumption truly is our only tool, despite the archeological evidence and writings, it doesn't cover actual accounts beyond the Bible.

I really don't think Christianity will ever completely disappear, but I do beleive it will evolve to be more tolerant. It will be realized most of the Bible is a historical reveal into the laws of the time, some of the stories may have been inflated to add some flamboyancy (although Salomon having a ring controlling demons was pretty cool), perhaps the forgotten books of the Bible will be thoroughly studied and accepted as authentic works, there could be many changes, these are just a few changes I would like to see.

Thanks for reading,
Blessed Be.

Fairy Cat Return Spell

I’ve been missing my cat, Pie, for nine days now. Angel was kind enough to give me a cat spell from Ellen Dugan’s book, The Enchanted Cat, so I can call to Pie magickally and hopefully bring him home soon.

The spell itself left me tingly and crying, because I really do ant my baby back in my loving arms, it also left me with a sense of calm, to the point where I didn’t feel the need to call on the Ouija board. Thank goddess because I don’t think it’s safe to work one alone.

Yes, I have done all the mundane I could do, putting up posters, calling all the local shelters in the area, posting on craigslist and http://www.missingpetads.com It was especially stressful when we thought our beloved Pie was dead, but that changed quickly because I discover that the date of disappearance for Pie and mystery cat, did not match. Also it was just too weird for Pie to have been taken to a Willow Glen clinic, about ten miles from my house. So I thank the god and goddess immensely for revealing that information to me.

Now I’m in action, but I have to do my school work. Luckily I have a lot of free time because I’ve been off work because of an injured hip and knee. I’m feeling better though, so yay, I can go back to work soon.

I feel so much better after doing the spell. I do not believe it would have felt half as good if I had not done everything mundane I could, because I would have felt a little pre-executed if I called to the gods for help before trying something on my own. I’m so thankful, I hope my baby will some home soon.

Why is life so chaotic?

Sorry I haven't written anything in a while, but I've been busy with school, I injured myself at work, so life has been pretty hectic and I have barley any time to work any spells or even basic rituals.

But I did make some time to celebrate Samhain. It was a quick and simple ritual because I spent the day gaming Exalted with a friend. I really just followed Cunningham's ritual procedures and it was just nice to sit down and relax with the elemental and spiritual energies.

As I said I was injured at work and I've been off for over two weeks. It's not deadly, but my left knee and hip are continuously in pain at random moments, mainly when I stand too long.

I feel truly depressed because I feel useless and that is why I'm so thankful to the Samhain ritual. I let my worries pass into the endless universe, my hopes, dreams, fears, all passed onto a higher power. It's a great lift from my shoulders.

I have a feeling everything will finally work out: I will find insurance coverage, I will move out, I will find a better job. Saying I will says so much.

So how was your Samhain? :)

Pagan Blog Prompt: Pagan Pride or Ego?

Provided by Pagan Blog Prompts

The Question Is:

In regards to Pagan Pride Day events and the like, "Do public gatherings serve your faith... or are they just big parties that serve the ego?"

I remember going to many Christian revivals as a child and I have to say they gave me a spiritual high so unimaginable it felt close to a addiction. However, it only stayed for a little while and I was left, cold, sad and alone in my spiritual self. There is no doubt in my mind that these experiences were authentic, but shallow.

Personally, I have never been to a Pagan Event, but I imagine it to be much the same, but different because I feel that there would be a lasting effect on me. It's about being free to express your love for the god or goddess you serve and knowing that there are physical presences beyond the ritual circle offer more substance. Because in the Christian mindset man is forever separate from God until death, but with Pagan beliefs, the god and goddess are here now, waiting for your fellowship.

This is the great divide between the two and it the power I felt as a Christian left me begging for more, but with the separation of God and man in play, it just leaves you empty in the end. So, I beleive a Pagan Event serves both the ego and the faith, because of their freedom in expression and the knowledge of the personal connection with the god and goddess now instead of waiting for death.

Luck Spells and Money

I preformed a luck spell today as I entered some survey contests and as the smoke rose I could feel the energy flowing though my body. Small slivers of light danced as the incense drifted through. The smell is robust and strong and I chanted for the spirits of luck to hear me and drink in the aroma.

The energy shook through me as I sent out my visual plea to win some extra cash. I don’t think this is selfish in the least because in the long run financial stability promotes good for everyone. And I wasn’t asking for the money, but luck in winning the money, which I think is even less biased.

There seems to be some controversy in the ethics on money spells mainly because it’s free. This is untrue however, because it takes time, often money and effort for a spell to work. The only reason why I would say no to casting a money spell is when the caster is expecting it for nothing or no effort. But if they are currently working or looking for a job, there is no harm to spell some extra cash your way.

Money is an object given value by a society, it’s bartering with government paper. But it is what the landlord wants for rent, so I suggest you pay with bills and not cookies. Personally, I rather do an exchange system, I could write a poem, wash your dishes, baby-sit kids, my skills maybe small, but I do not fear work.

I think money promotes greed, unhappiness, unhealthy desires, especially when it looses its toll status and becomes a die hard necessity. Today it is necessary to have money, but it’s tool to buy food and other needs and wants. However, it does not bring joy, happiness, self-satisfaction, it is merely an aid to the means.

I see no problem with money spells as long as you use them responsibly and do not rely on them for success. But be careful, everything come back, good and bad.

Location, location, location

Yesterday morning I woke up about an hour before my alarm went off so I decided to have a mini yoga session and meditate. It felt so good to do yoga again and I decided to search for my wolf-spirit totem during my meditation.

I was in my field of red flowers and began to visualize dancing and picked flowers into a bundle. The air was cool, crisp and soft as I entered the dark woods. Trees stood silent and I called to my wolf, who came. It was male with a salt n’ peppered coat and white underside he lead me to his family who were deep in the wood. All those furry bodies pressed up against me and I smiled at peace.

It was a nice start to a long working day and I’m so thankful to have Thursday off because I have to perform my Esbat very late in order to prevent any witch burning. It’s my time to give thanks to the goddess and god, especially because I have more working hours now, which I needed.

My fiancé called and I was just so irritated and I feel really bad for it because how is he supposed to feel comfortable asking me questions about Wicca if I’m so mad? I need to just count to ten and focus on balancing my elements before I speak, also taking some Ibuprofen wouldn’t hurt either.

So I explained to him about the full moon and why I was performing the ritual. He was very receptive and I appreciate that because the last thing I need is to feel closed off from my lover.

I tried to do my ritual at the local park, but the energy was all wrong. Also the moon was being covered by clouds most of the time, but I preformed the ritual anyway and gave thanks to Luna for all her gifts and left some wine and bread for the earth.

I’m wondering if I’m doing these rituals right. I set up the representations of the god and goddess, invoke the four directions, cast circle, give thanks, but I think it has a lot to do with the energy already there also. My yard has a small oasis where I planted wildflowers and the energy just feels right for ritual. At the park though I felt frightened and aware of every chirp in the night.

I think it’s good to find new locations for ritual so you can know for yourself what energy works for you personally. I would love to find another location that is isolated from everyone, but since I live in the city it’s pretty hard to locate. I’m also scared of going too far off because I don’t want to fall into a big mess of trouble.

I’m so glad I’m on this path of discovery and would love to hear your comments.

Blessed Be.

Ghosts and Rituals

My sister has seen this spirit waiting outside of the house ever since she was little, I used to see spirits, but the gift left me around the age of nine or so. I’m a little thankful for it because horror movies just tend to freak me out and I tend to stay up holding a knife all night.
This is also similar for my sister. When she feels the woman, she cannot sleep sometimes, often has her light on and can feel the stare beyond closed doors. I feel horrible and I’ve smudged the house twice now, but I think we need to find out what this woman wants and ask her to leave. Maybe she is just trying to send a message, war us, or just leave some advice.
We need to confront her because she needs to move on and we would like to get some sleep. I’m thankful for my cats, because I believe they keep much of the spirits at bay. I can only hope that Luna will guide me.
Oh yea, I promised to tell you about my Elemental Ritual, well it just didn’t go very well at the beach because there were beer bottles everywhere, the scent of urine and there were just too many people. Also I was focused so much on keeping the fire going I couldn’t concentrate on meditation or the chant. So in the end I left to go home and preformed a small ritual there.
I think it worked a little bit, but I was tired and rushed so I guess I’ll have to try it again when I feel more relaxed.

Blessed Be.

Making Incense is Painful

I have this really informative book, The Complete Book of Incense, Oils and Brews Scott Cunningham, and I really like it, it actually teaches you basic herb properties and how to make everything you need in your magickal life. In my first esbat, on July 7, 2009, I used one of Cunningham's' altar incense' and I think it worked wonderfully. However, last night it was a different story, I haven't been sleeping very well, so I decided to make myself a sleep assist, but it turned into a dream incense because I didn't have all the ingredients needed or the replacements the book says you can use.

So I decided to make:
2 part dried rose petals
2 parts lavender
and one part Cedar

This was still altered because I didn't have the lavender or rose oil I needed. So I set it up on my alter and tried to light the self-igniting charcoal, but it just wouldn't light. I kept burning my fingers hoping it would light the thing, but it would just spark for a few seconds and fizzle out. So I tried lighting a different one and still nothing, I tried putting sage oil on top, nothing, I tried setting it on fire, nothing.

The brand I used was Instant Swift-Light Charcoal and it failed. I probably bought a bad batch, but I'm going to buy the organic Charcoal next time for 25 cents more. It was so frustrating to make the incense that it made me even more tired, so I guess it succeeded it helping me sleep even with burnt fingers.

I probably will try again because I've never been able to remember my dreams really well and I would like to see if this helps me remember my dreams. I do remember one dream in particular with the a totem animal the horse in it.

I was on a journey through a zany version of my neighborhood stuck in my dad's BMW in first gear picking up adopted cousins and sisters, until I reach my home where all the cars from the neighborhood are there. One man tells me they are re-drawing the property lines and I head to my back yard where a horse is standing by an apple tree. "I'm looking for my mother's van, it's black, have you seen it?"
"It went that way." The horse said to me and I look to see car tracks leading into a deep wood. I thank the horse and went about my way, letting him eat the apples off the tree.

I toughly believe it was a dream to tell me, "Your going on a journey." I was, but I didn't know it yet. All the research I did about the Christian God lead me to this path of discovery and I hope I at least entertained you for a while.

Blessed Be