Lost in Religion

Am I slowly becoming an Atheist?

I have done so much research into so many religions, and still need to do more of course, and thought I found Wicca to be mine, but it's not really.  I hardly follow any of the holidays of esbats and my alter is in complete shambles.

Perhaps it is from pure laziness, but I think structured religion of any sort isn't for me.  I can feel the spirituality of the earth and plants, but I feel like I waste too much energy trying to connect.  I rather focus on my art and make it my religious experience.

by Purnima Koli

With this lack of motivation in keeping a traditional Wiccan calendar I think I need to stop wasting my energy looking for spirituality and just let it happen naturally though my art.  This could be a newfound magick for me, perhaps I just need to stop neglecting it.

I know there are witches out there who have no religious connection, perhaps this is the path for me, considering there is nothing invalid about perusing your art and making a soulful connection to the world, I find a special solace rather than panic in evolving my perspective on the many paths people take spiritually.

Honestly, the words, the practice, the calendar never sat well with me, but I tried and explored, however I feel hallow when I shallowly try and have decided to let my heart take me where I should be.

I will not stop posting, but the journey has changed.

Getting Married the Right Way?

by Ralf Roletschek

I just read an article from Fox News, I know, already red flags going up right?  The title of the article was "Waiting Until the Wedding Night-Getting Married the Right Way".  

If you do read the article, the one I linked has added animated gifs, *snort*, there were some words I found to be absolutely hilarious.

snookered
schlepping
floozies
charlatans

I felt like I was on a blast to the past!  I also wondered if he used thesaurus on Microsoft Word to find "intelligent" words for his opinion.

Good for you, you waited for marriage.  But the ignorance spewing out of his mouth makes me shake my head in shame that you call yourself a Christian.  A person who, by definition, should be "Christ like".  

Jesus accepted everyone, from whores to tax collectors and called for people to love your neighbor.  Instead, this man decides to judge strangers he will never meet, focus on his "right" way of thinking, and criticize another married couple instead of enjoying time with his wife.

I understand everyone can be a hypocrite, but this man takes the cake for backsliding just by is pompous attitude. 

Marriage has grown and evolved over time and has not always been between a man and a woman.  There wasn't always Christian marriage sir, the Pagans had it first.

Faith Healers

This is just a general opinion, I'm not targeting any specific faith healer.  On Paganspace.com there is a post about a young woman hurt by her mother when the mother asked her daughter not to pray to her fake gods for her health.  The topic leads to faith healing when more information reveals how the mother's minister tells her she will be healed by faith, not medication.


I'm no fan of over prescribing antibiotics, but when you have a chronic condition or a deadly one I don't think doctors are trying to kill you any faster.  There is nothing wrong with looking to faith to help heal you, but reputable herbalists and Riki workers will tell their patients to seek modern medical help along with their alternative testaments.


The statement may be just a legal nicety, but I believe using both alternative and Western medicine can aid in healing the body and soul.  Western doctors tend to treat the symptoms and find the cause later, perhaps a little spiritual guidance is what the mind needs when prospecting suffering and pain?  If yoga, riki, herbal remedies, meditation make you feel better why not try them?  

by Mysid

There is no harm in trying alternative techniques, however, if anyone tells you to ignore medical advice and says only they can heal you, roll your eyes and walk away.  Faith is one idea, but absolute trust in an individual who goes beyond simple assistance and into I'm the one territory is dangerous.  There are many people who just want to be healed and have their pain go away, but this want doesn't mean throwing caution to the wind.


Do not let people take advantage of your hope, it's yours, trust a few people with it alone because if it sounds unbelievable, it probably is.


Have you ever been scammed by a spiritual practitioner?

Finding Nature in Urban Living

My little herb garden

I live in downtown in a large city surrounded by other cities.  There are nice parks around my home, but I wouldn't call them "natural" because they are constructed greenery for the eye.

I'm lucky that I have a decent size backyard where I can cultivate, but also let nature grow.  I have a garden and a few planters, but otherwise I just sow the seeds and let them sprout on their own.  Not everyone has this luxury and I recomend heading out to a local bike path, it may be the closest picture to a nature scene from a National Park.

If you want to create a little space for nature in your apartment, it can be a little more difficult.  Some buildings do not even allow plants or there isn't any space for them.  If possible you could always speak to your landlord and ask if he would allow a small garden for everyone to enjoy, unlikely, but there is no harm in it.

If your landlord says no, you can always plant a small herb garden in your kitchen window, just don't forget to water.  I have one outside my front door, it's close enough for cooking, but if I could fit the herbs in my kitchen I would have.

Also, there are local community gardens you could sign up for or just walk by and enjoy.  This will not only help the community, but add some vegstables and geen visuals into your life.  I've seen these pop up around schools and if people don't parpisipate they will just dissapear.

buckets of plants

I think having acess to nature is not only important for Pagans, but as a community as a whole.  I'm not talking lawns with immigrant workers mowing the lawn, but places where nature is allowed to be or even just a garden in the front yard.

I have asked my friends to plant with me in my large back yard to offer them a place to relax and some fresh vegstables.  Gardens and nature promote community and make the block look presentable for people just walking by.

What do you do to connect with nature?

Why Did I Choose Paganism?

My response to a post at Paganspace.net:

When you're a child growing up on Christianity you were taught God can change the world and you could be apart of it if you were faithful.  Slowly you discovered the world wasn't fair, regardless of your boundless faith and belief, becoming angry at the injustices allowed to happen while God does nothing while you pray.

Later, you actually read the Bible, trying to understand it, dissecting it, analyzing it like a real historical text and realized it doesn't stand up to common logic.  You asked why were the four Gospels written about 70 years after Jesus' death?  Why are there no authenticated outside records of Jesus' life, or even the earthquake hitting Jerusalem after his death? 

As you researched more, you found the Jews worshiped multiple gods at one time and Yahweh, or Jealousy, was the one surviving over the ages.  You realized the Bible wasn't written all at once, and there was no way for any one man to follow all the rules.  You understood the cultural and historical context of the words and sought out understanding the original Hebrew, Arabic and Greek translations by scholars. You looked at other religions and saw patterns with Buddha, The Sin Eater, Osiris and Isis close to the story of Jesus.  Opening and understanding brought you a new belief applying to all religions on a path of "do as you will, but harm none."

You took control of your life, with this new found knowledge and through yourself stop in injustice overflowing to another generation in your family.  You didn't pray, you said stop, took the heat from your family for revealing a dark secret and are now stronger for it.

When I finally found the power within myself to confront my family for my abuse, my sisters abuse and my nieces abuse this is when I knew I wasn't Christian, I am something else.  I am a warrior for justice, called by Luna after much meditation and study living my life without fear of judgement.

Why did you choose Paganism?

How to Petition Effectively

by Kennet1

I was listening to the Pagan Centered Podcast: Episode 239 1/2: Action and Reaction and the cast spoke about how people try to petition through a variety of sites; Change.org, Moveon.org, Care2 Petition Site, Causes.com.


All of these sites attempt to bring attention to important issues, but when I tried to search on any of these sites there was over 20 different petitions, sometimes more, about the same subject.  100 signatures on one, 13 on another, 0 on another, it went on and on for pages sometimes.  Every single signature disjointed for, perhaps, a just cause because of the lack of unity between these people.


Like the hosts on Pagan Centered Podcast (PCP) said in the Occupy Movement was as cluttered as a grandma's house of nick-knacks; many ideas, but no unity.  Well thought out campaigns, like Kony 2012, brought a concise view with a powerful message:

by occupyhelp 

"Joseph Kony is one of the world's worst war criminals, and I call on my leaders to support the international efforts now led by the United Nations and African Union to arrest him and his top commanders, bring the child soldiers home, and restore lasting peace."

With one sentence the reader knew the offenders name, where he was from, what he was accused of and the ultimate goal.  Occupy and many other campaigns do not have this concise message and were lost under the mounds of repetitive intentions.

Once I attempted a petition, but I lost my fire in it because I felt I was overwhelmed with clone messages throughout the Change.org site.  One of the better ways to begin a petition, a recommended by PCP was going directly to the White House website and sign there.  The site  was a direct link for an average person and the White House where a politician in need of a plan will actually read the words and notice the signatures.

 by Ed Brown, as Edbrown05

The best way a person could help a politician was to have a step-by-step plan ready to go with little to no thought effort on the elected officials part.  This may sound sad to the average citizen, but our responsibility to throw fully formed ideas in Congresses' face and keep them on their toes.

It is time for a revolution in politics and only together can we arrive there.

What are you concerned about politically?

Spontaneous or Structured Rituals

by Fer Doirich

I really do try to plan for a ritual, but life doesn't always give me enough time to go through the entire process I like.  My process may differer from others, but if I really have the time this is my process:

1. I prepare all of my tools, herbs, oils and whatever else I need.

2. Take a shower and visualize the water cleansing me.  You can rub with salt, but I use a nice organic soap and it doesn't irritate my skin.

3. I put on some loose fitting clothes.  I live in an urban area so I can't exactly go skyclad.

4. I try to go outside and do my ritual, but sometimes the weather doesn't permit.

5. I then ground myself, Ariel has a great meditation for this, #26 Lesson 2 (A)

6. Lastly, cast circle and I preform my ritual.

by Nyo

Sometimes I skip one or two steps, but I always try to ground myself so I'm not up for the next week bubbling with energy.  I remember my first Esbat and I did not ground myself, I was up for a week beeming with energy, but I was so tired.

I really do try to plan out most of my rituals, mainly because I like to make an effort.  There are only 21 rituals a year, unless I decide to do a spell.  I haven't really done any spells lately, I haven't the need, really I just need to work on my mundane life mundanely.

Going through the effort is a sign of respect to the dieties, directions and any other enities called upon.  I'm inviting them to my ritual, being prepared is just curtious.  It would be just rude to throw it together last minitue and hope for even an average expierence.

How do you prepare for your ritiuals?

Calling Yourself a Wiccan

by Malcolm Lidbury (aka Pinkpasty)

There is some debate about if you are a true Wiccan if you are solitary.  I believe you are, considering all religions evolve and change with the times.  Even in the Christian faith there are churches who accept gays, promote a modern view of men and women and honestly follow Jesus' ways.


Wicca is no different, from Gerald Gardner who created the first recognized branch of Gardnerian Wicca to Cunningham's Solitary branch of Wicca, this Pagan path evolves with the people who follow it.  I do not think Wicca is an inflexible path, but many think it is Gardanian (or a variance created by a student of Gardner) or nothing.


Fairie, Dianic, Green, Seax Wica, Alexandrian, Eclectic and many more scattered throughout the world.  Some are recognized as "official" traditions, others are not, I personally belong to an Eclectic Solitary path, mainly because I haven't found a tradition I like.

by Zoeysixx

Recently I've been harassed by another Pagan, who considers himself an Eclectic-Neo-Pagan, which is fine, but says I am not a Wiccan based solely on my solitary path.  He does not consider this path valid just on the one note it is not apart of a coven.  I think it is truly sad how he judges people and doesn't even try to speak with them.


I think if you follow the Wiccan Rede, practice the esbats and sabbats and  believe the universe is made up of god and goddess entities you are a Wiccan.  However, you can only become a priest/priestess if you are initiated to a coven.


Of course you can self dedicate, but this just makes you dedicated to the gods and goddess' you will honor.  If you want to go beyond self dedication, to become a certified elder in a tradition, you have to join a tradition.  However, it doesn't mean you shouldn't read every book you come across about Paganism, Wicca, witchcraft or anything that interests you, because you are a valued member of the community and need to be an educated one.


These are just my personal beliefs and have no negative standing against becoming apart of a coven.  But if you feel drawn to the path of Wicca, learn, live and blessed be.


The post was closed and the aggressor banned from the site, you can read it for yourself, but mainly I just told him off for his arrogance of "I'm right and you're wrong" mentality.  In the end I called him a coward for just attacking me, of course I was reacting, but I felt I needed to fight for my personal choice.  

by pbyrne

He refused to contact anyone else about his views, podcast or otherwise, because he was "being smart" by avoiding harassment for his views.  I was willing to guard, defend and take the heat, he obviously was not and was banned for his actions.  There was no right or wrong, but I tried to be concise with my words and not mean to offend.


After all this debate I really want to understand the different paths and why they are different so, what is your path?

Paganspace.net

Betsythedevine Photoshopped 

version of public sign

People come and go, but I stand by a statement, "internet + anonymous = douchebag"  I really try not to be a troll on forums.  My definition of a troll is someone who argues no matter what position you have on the issue.


Trolls are common because they get away with being trolls under anonymous means and the policies are not condemning enough for just verbal vomit, because a smart troll never  says anything too offensive.  The best way to handle a troll is not to feed one.


There are so many different Pagans there questions are bound to be answered in many different ways.  Let's just take the basic question discussion of I'm New to Wicca.  Within a few posts the discussion has brought up solitary vs initiated Wicca.


I'm in the camp where you don't need to join a coven to be a Wiccan.  You can practice, study and learn all on your own, creating a personal version of Wicca.  I'm no saying I'm the best Wiccan ever, but I do follow most of the practices, even if I don't agree with the complete Wiccan rede.

Image:Wiccan_Triple_Moon_3.PNG 

(now deleted)

Personally, I haven't found a coven I really like, although I'm considering joining the Firefly Academy to help encourage my studies and become apart of a larger group.  Brook the iPod Witch recommends them, and she doesn't have time or money, so I think they would be a good choice for a hard working nanny/student like myself.


With just this one discussion there are many different opinions, trolls and values being posted.  This well rounded view is why I like Paganspace.  I did join another Pagan social site, The Pagan Veil, but I haven't found it as fast paced or responsive.


I strongly support discussion between different faiths and I think Paganspace is one place to start.


You have a profile on paganspace?  Drop me a line.

Cleansing Your House

My boyfriend and I moved into our cottage just after February and I didn't reform a cleansing right away, mostly because I was a little lazy, and because I was busy.  After I was scared a few nights ago by a voice I decided it was time to get the negativity out and salt around the property.

I really don't want to hear that voice again because I need some sleep without fear of hearing voices all around me.  I probably won't know if it is anything more serious for a few more days, but I don't think so because I took action quickly.

It is sad how I want but do not want to see entities like I did as a child, but I guess I watch too many horror movies to have full confidence in myself.  I should try to just contact my spirit guides to help me rediscover my sight.

I keep thinking of the movie Insidious and how astro-projection is mentioned.  With how creepy some of the astro-planes were, I can't imagine a child wanting to visit, so how did he get lost in the first place?


Despite the sheer stupidity of the movie, some of the special effects were great and I like how they depicted some of the more violent ghosts.

This scene scared the crap out of me

Fear of the unknown can be hindering, but blowing caution to the wind can be just as dangerous.  So I'm super cautious when I use an ouija board because I do not want anything in my home that may harm me.  I'm not saying that this protection is enough either, entities can break through.  I remember a Pagan Centered Podcast episode on contacting entities and the dangers, but I don't remember the episode number.


The basic story was an entity left a scar on one of the hosts even after she went though her regular protections.  That truly terrifies me.


Another podcast I listen to is Infinite and Beyond, it's great and one episode #17 he invites a paranormal investigator onto his show and they speak about his experiences and how the work is done.


Cleansing a house is simple: burn sage with the windows shut, tell the negative residue to leave, (sweep the house, pushing the negative residue out), you can burn a white candle, say a prayer, but after the sage is burned open the windows to let the leftover residues escape.  I like to seal the house after this with salt all around it.  I put some extra in the doorway.

This is just what I do, there are many cleansing variations that can be done for different religious types, sage and salt are actually very common cleansers for protecting a home.  A great book to look into for identifying spiritual entities, protecting your home and yourself is Defense Against the Dark by Emily Carlin.  It's not too complicated and is neutral enough to be used in any faith.


I'm just happy that my house is clean from negativity, now if I can only get my neighbors to stop arguing at 3 am.


How do you cleanse your house?  

Skeptoid Energy Work

I heard this on Skpetoid about how energy is a measurement of work, not just a label for anything unexplained.


Although he is very critical of New Age practices and many other spiritual findings, I do see how the Pagan community and people in general misuse the word energy.  He uses a great example as to how to test using the word energy appropriately:


"Here's a good test. When you hear the word "energy" used in a spiritual or paranormal sense, substitute the phrase "measurable work capability." Does the usage still make sense? Are you actually being given any information that supports the claim being made? Remember, energy itself is not the thing being measured: energy is the measurement of work performed or of potential"


My question is what can the Pagan community call this "energy" we work with so often to meditate, create spells, make wands, communicate desires and so much more?  I have a few ideas: will, spirit, higher self can be just a few samples to what the "energy" you work with is.


Even in his own commentary about his friend:


"A friend told me of her ability to perform minor healings, and her best explanation was that she drew energy from another dimension. "


If we just replace the word "energy" the word "dimensional spirit" it makes more sense and ignores the misuse of the word energy.  If the Pagan community wants to be taken seriously in our practices we have to use proper terms for what we are working with, energy just doesn't cut it for explaining what we do.


I personally believe I draw on the spirits of the earth, wind, water and fire when I call a circle.  Perhaps when I open my chakras I am connecting with my higher self to attune with my body.  While casting a spell I will it to happen.  Moving beyond the word energy is one of the steps to leading a scientific eye to our practices.


At this moment science may not be able to explain god, goddess or all the universe but if we don't open our doors to our thoughts they may never find out. 


  

Lazy Environmentalist

Merry Meet all!

 I haven't written in a long time, mainly because I haven't done anything magickal in a while, but that's ok because I'm finally have a job in the field I want and that is Child Development. Technically I'm a nanny for one 3 year old girl and the sister as soon as she starts to crawl. I'm just happy and all I have to do is free play with her while the mom works. Oh, joy.

I'm going back to school for my credentials so perhaps I can find a career as a child care provider. Everything is going pretty well, moved to a tiny little cottage in the downtown area, love it, it has a huge backyard where I'm planting a garden. I guess I'm just trying to be a better blogger, I have no excuse, but some days I just forget or I'm just lazy.

Well, anyway I'm trying to rededicate myself and I hope this works. Recently I have watched too many environmental documentaries, now I feel very depressed because not matter what I do I feel like it's not enough.

I recycle.
Buy environmentally friendly cleaning products.
Buy organic bathing products.
Shop at the local farmers market and organically when I can.
I am growing a garden.
I'm also composting.

But I feel like I'm just a small dot. I know I am, but am I making a difference, sure, but I feel like I should be doing more and I guess that's a motivating idea to build on. I would like to stop buying soda, switch to cloths for cleaning, use glass bottles for my personal cleaning products, make my own home cleaning products, build a water storage, form a small community garden and, and, and...so much....

There is just always something out their ready to damage my quality of life and health to almost the point of paranoia. But, I can only do what I can do because of money, time and energy, so one step at a time right?

Oh, and of course as soon as I want to start taking actual classes at the Firefly Academy the school is closed for maintenance after this semester. Only for a month, but still, lol, only after I want to apply. I think I need community, but where I live kind of sucks magickally, but maybe I need to look again on Going or Meetup, I've never gone to any of the actual Pagan events, so try it before I jump into some online bit? I like people, but if they are just a bunch of immature teenagers pretending to sparkle or whatever, forget it.

Anywhoo, I will write soon. Blessed be!

What I Hope For Chrisianity

Christianity is the major religion around the Western world. Do I think this could change, it could he a likely possibility, however, I rather see religions just tolerate each other or at least ignore one another. Christianity itself has some historical backing from their Jewish dedication to writing the Torah, but history is written by the winners and it is only assumed no mistakes were made. In fact, there is evidence that at one time Judaism was polytheistic.

Links:

http://www.cyberessays.com/History/93.htm

http://www.errancy.org/polytheistic.html


http://books.google.com/books?id=KnIYRi3upbEC&dq=the+christ+conspiracy+the+greatest+story+ever+sold&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=x-wVS_WgJIr8tQOyj6D9Aw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CBsQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Christianity is based on thousands of years of tradition. Traditions long dead for the most part. We will never truly know what life was like thousands of years ago, much like the ancient witch traditions. Assumption truly is our only tool, despite the archeological evidence and writings, it doesn't cover actual accounts beyond the Bible.

I really don't think Christianity will ever completely disappear, but I do beleive it will evolve to be more tolerant. It will be realized most of the Bible is a historical reveal into the laws of the time, some of the stories may have been inflated to add some flamboyancy (although Salomon having a ring controlling demons was pretty cool), perhaps the forgotten books of the Bible will be thoroughly studied and accepted as authentic works, there could be many changes, these are just a few changes I would like to see.

Thanks for reading,
Blessed Be.

Fighting Amongst Ourselves

I have noticed that anonymous + The Internet= douchebags.

I may have different opinions than others, but I do try not to attack people on an individual basis. I already know I am at fault for it but I do try. Mainly because my name here isn’t for animosity, but it is my Goddess given name. So, I do try to represent myself to the community in a dignified manner.

However, I have noticed many have decided to use the Internet as a garbage dump for attacking individuals based on opinions, not facts. This is wrong, but it shows a horrifying truth, people hurt at anytime they can get away from punishment.

Is this the true face of society? Hiding behind pleasant masks while we boil with anger inside? Are we so suppressed emotionally that we can not find civil ways to express our deepest thoughts and opinions?

I guess what I’m asking for is common courtesy on the Internet as we have in person, for the most part at least. I will presently apologize for any harsh offences I have laid, but if it is a matter of opinion, it is just my word, not the voice of the masses.

I'm just so tired of people saying they want a better world, then using the Internet to do the opposite. Just yesterday a teenager called me, his number was 'private', and called me a 'f-ing bitch' for putting up so many cat posters. Would he have called if it were not anonymous? Probably not.

There is security behind privacy, but when does privacy become a weapon?

We need to be the people we truly are online and off. To do otherwise is two-faced. This not only applies to the Pagan community, but to all of humanity.

Shadow People

-Response to a Post on Paganspace.net

I used to see one down my hallway at night, they have never appeared in my room, to me anyway, but my sister said she saw a shadow in my room once. I think I feel them mostly, my hairs stand up. One time I think they tried to talk to me, but I was so scared, so I just curled under my covers and went to bed.

I've never felt anything bad, but since I do not understand them, I fear them. But as a child I used to think they were just my dad. I don't know why they are here and I'm wondering if they were a sign that I would follow a Pagan path.

My mother also sees them. She doesn't fear them, but just says, "Oh it's you." and goes back to bed. Now I'm wondering if they are the cause for my fear of seeing trees through a window. Sometimes I see them randomly on the road or from the corner of my eye. I wish they didn't look so dark and scary.

My sister also feels one, outside my house, she says it's feminine and it just watches her. She says I have a male one who watches me. But I wonder why? She also said they got pissed when I salted and smudged our rooms and house. So I'm wondering if they are a good thing.

Pagan Blog Prompt: Pagan Pride or Ego?

Provided by Pagan Blog Prompts

The Question Is:

In regards to Pagan Pride Day events and the like, "Do public gatherings serve your faith... or are they just big parties that serve the ego?"

I remember going to many Christian revivals as a child and I have to say they gave me a spiritual high so unimaginable it felt close to a addiction. However, it only stayed for a little while and I was left, cold, sad and alone in my spiritual self. There is no doubt in my mind that these experiences were authentic, but shallow.

Personally, I have never been to a Pagan Event, but I imagine it to be much the same, but different because I feel that there would be a lasting effect on me. It's about being free to express your love for the god or goddess you serve and knowing that there are physical presences beyond the ritual circle offer more substance. Because in the Christian mindset man is forever separate from God until death, but with Pagan beliefs, the god and goddess are here now, waiting for your fellowship.

This is the great divide between the two and it the power I felt as a Christian left me begging for more, but with the separation of God and man in play, it just leaves you empty in the end. So, I beleive a Pagan Event serves both the ego and the faith, because of their freedom in expression and the knowledge of the personal connection with the god and goddess now instead of waiting for death.

Communication

Last night Angel, Sherman, my fiancé and I wend up Hicks road to watch the falling start. It was perfectly dark as we laid there on a blanket watching the colorful streaks pass through the milky way. We talked, laughed and joked only interrupting with a resounding “ooooooooh” when a star streaked past.

It was so amazing to be somewhere so quiet, where only the wind and crickets fill our ears, it’s rare to have these moments when you live in the city. The energy isn’t as rushed like it is in the city and it has a calming effect. But I think we tried to change it with out constant talking, we just couldn’t enjoy the quiet too long.

It would be nice to go up there alone mainly because it would be easier to enjoy the serene quiet. But there are times where it’s okay to just talk with others and have a good time under the infinite stars. There were no computers, phones, texting, it was authentic communication, where you could hear the voice and face at the same time,

The Pagan community itself seems spread thin and it is sometimes lonely in solidarity practice. I’m lucky to have some friends, but it would be nice to meet other Pagans without the use of the Internet, which is an awesome tool, but impersonal. One time I went to one of my local occult stores and just stared at by the other customers. I felt like I was intruding and it did not encourage me to open up either.

I wouldn’t have minded a small high, but all I felt was negativity. I have at least one good idea behind the Christian community, if you come into their church, you are usually greeted warmly, but with the Pagan community, it seems people are very guarded from each other.

This is one of the reasons why I’ve chosen to be a solitary. I don’t want to deal with drama, but I feel pretty lonely with just my books to keep me company. It just seems like the community is very hidden and skeptical to newbies. But I think it would be good to have some structure and learn from more experienced practitioners even if the coven doesn’t work out, at least you have the knowledge.

Mixing Politics with Religion and Instant Gatification

I was thinking about my old friend and the cruelest words he ever said to me, ‘A liberal-Christian is a Christian who doesn't have any beliefs.’ The fact was I did believe in God but I interpreted the Bible differently, because I realized most of it was just opinion written down, an age ago, by men. I don’t mean to bash men, in fact I think they are the luckiest beings in existence, especially when they have to deal with an intelligent woman.

My question is why is there so much attention on mixing religion and politics? Not all Christians are Republican and not all Pagans are Democrat, that is political stereotyping and it’s wrong. I just wanted to worship God and believe prostitution and drugs should be legalized, but when most Christians heard my views they labeled me as a radical feminist-liberal-Democrat-wiener and attempted to right my beliefs to the proper order.

In reality I don’t consider myself as a real liberal, I want people to own guns, I want the government to butt out of private affairs, I want politicians to vote for the good of the whole and not themselves, but I want health care, I want to legalize illegal substances to pay off Americas deficit, I want my car to run on a dream, I want my freedoms damnit and that’s that.

Honestly, I don’t know what category I fit into, you could say I’m Libertarian, a very enlightened concept, but like Communism, when people are involved it fails horribly. People are greedy and selfish, I don’t blame this on an evil force, but American upbringing has gone to a very dark place, where everything is met with instant gratification and a whine.

I’m bad, I want instant gratification too, but working in retail has altered my thoughts quite a bit because I have seen a side of humanity, the IwantthisnowexactlyhowIwantitandthecustomerisalwaysright! side. Instant doesn’t exist, it takes time for things to grow, like my garden, and I am so lucky I learned the lessons of using my hands and smashing my fingers with tolls through the blood and dirt of shoveling.

This instant quick satisfaction also affects politics because we the people don’t see much into the future beyond four years, especially young people, if they vote at all. I’ve voted in every election from presidential to local, except for California’s May thing, and I’m proud. But when I speak to others my age, they blow it off with an anarchist attitude and then complain about their government…stupid. Not all of my age group is like this, but holy-flying-monkey-farts, if you want to change something, google it and then vote on it please!

Nobody wants to do anything anymore and it frustrated me to no end because I’m a natural fighter for my beliefs and rights to a bitter end. This instant gratification is ruining our humanity, nature is, humans are, everything runs on its own schedule, but we humans keep on trying to alter things, speed up, got to school, work and die, that’s it! I don’t want to live life for instant then I’m done with it, I want to live life like a Native American, but with air conditioning and good health care, where the sun is the clock and the seasons move slowly and effortlessly, where everything blends like a beautiful painting.

Whose with me? Who wants to live life to the seasons and not seconds? Who wants to think a head and learn from the past? Who wants to change this world for the better?

Blessed be.

Ghosts, Past Lives and Moving Out....Probably Never

I haven’t been dreaming, well that’s impossible, so I haven’t been remembering my dreams, probably because I’m up too late and I laze about my bed, before I get up. It kind of hurts me, because I know my dreams hold the key to my past and future, so I feel lost sometimes. However, when I do remember my dreams they are stunning and important, so maybe I haven’t had any dreams of note lately.

I wonder sometimes if I’m just a new soul model, mundane, without any prior experience to guide myself though life, I would hate that fate, but I have no control over it. Why are new sols necessary anyway? If there are literally billions to choose from why are blank slates being created? Have that many souls decided to live in a permanent paradise? How many souls are blank slates at this very moment?

From the dreams I can remember I’ve never had any sort of past life dream, unless if it was on another planet, yes they were weird. So, as of right now, I can assume I’m a blank slate too. To be honest I lead a boring life so I would hate to dream about my life, it would be like watching a foreign film with bad actors.

So, my sister finally spoke to the entity and she laid down some ground rules, thank goodness, I don’t have to banish it. Phew, I just don’t need the responsibility at the moment. I didn’t need the thought of it wanting revenge hanging over my head until the day I die.

As a child I believe I used to see spirits, but after fear invaded my mind my powers became almost non-existent. I have to stop doubting myself and accept my once-gift with a passion. It’s going to take a long time and it’s probably best not to explore it too much in this house because it’s filled with negativity.

Assumedly my home was build in about 1909, the foundation at least, more was added in the 1940s and the 1980s. I can still remember pushing my tricycle through the halls of construction. The people who lived in the house before us seemed nice, but I think most of the energies are from us, especially my mother. In fact I sleep in my parents old bedroom.

My mother has deep issues involving her health, family, sexual assault and general anger. She radiates hatred, pain and she is an absolute control freak. For example, she is serving dinner and I told her ‘I can serve myself, I’m not five, so sit down and relax.’ It’s painful for her to stand with her loosing half her foot to diabetes, but, she yells, ‘Five to forty-five I’m going to serve if I want to serve!’

WTF?

I left her to her servitude. So you can see how my mother is the center for any negative impact in this house. I need to move out…

Blessed Be.

Out in the Garden

I went out into my garden today and it's so beautiful. I just needed a break away from my computer because I may be a modern Wiccan, but I can’t forget all the birds and plants waiting for me to nurture them and honor them outside.

So I laid out there on my grass mat and began to mediate on the plants, the birds, the wind…everything working with the heartbeat of the goddess and god. It was amazing just to watch the leaves wave in the wind saying hello. Everything was moving so fast and slow at the same time, all I could to is relax and let my chakras glow.

I’ve been practicing lighting up my chakras, I don’t know if it makes much of a difference, but my third-eye always seems to be in some sort of achy pain. Is something trying to escape? Maybe the abilities I lost as a child…who knows?

I also found a feather in my garden, waiting for me like a gift from the air spirits, I took it inside on my alter. Also my cat pie seems to be acting funny lately. He come into my room, meows and then leads me outside…I have no idea why, maybe he was trying to guide me so I could experience nature today. I should do it everyday!

I remember as a child how I used to play for hours outside imaging far off adventures, I was lucky to have a large backyard. It seems so far away now, but I remember the magick taking place in my mind to make my dreams a reality. Honesty is lost as we grow older, mainly to keep ourselves from being hurt. I’m often told I will be killed if I don’t keep to myself, I ignore it and have been in hard trouble before.

Trouble seems to find me and my big mouth but I think the extroverts are just as important as the introverts. I know the quiet ones work behind the scenes, but without the mouthpieces everything would be a silent scream within closed doors.

I’m also debating on doing a podcast. It wouldn’t always be about witchy stuff because nobody in the Pagan community is just pagan, they are people too with ordinary problems. I have opinions about everything, somebody might want to share them right?