Monday, August 29, 2011

Ants and Futuristic Wars: Dreams

Over the last two nights I remember strange dreams. The first night I can only remember about how a colony of ants were living in my new bed, but the location was my family home, not the apartment I'm living at. I remember me freaking out over the ants then I woke up.

Last night was a little more extensive. I was at a resort, very futuristic, it was like a indoor ski resort/spa. I seemed to be apart of a rebel group of sorts and there was this pink liquid that we threw like bombs. I don't remember what the bomb did, but it stopped working for some reason. I also remember being stuck in a mall like walkway system and loading up a gameboy color to play FF7. I was loading the game so I could escape into it and become Cloud (a female version), I don't think I was able to do this, because I woke up.

Yes, very strange dreams again.

I think it has something to do with how I'm scared about how my boyfriend's parents may ask the "When are you two going to get married?" question. This question terrifies me and I think I'm avoiding it subconsciously, even thought my boyfriend has told me his parents are very lax, I have a feeling they want to know WTF I'm doing with him.

Marriage? Not now. Kids? Medically speaking, not ever, maybe adoption. I don't need a ring for him to prove how much he loves me, he shows it by being kind, gentle, patient and supportive. Tying the knot scares me because I've only seen FAIL, sorry mom and dad but you're not the best example to a happy long marriage.

Sure they are still married but my mom is a medical train wreak because of her diabetes, my father is super stressed because my mom is a angry bitch and financial issues. It's not like any parents are perfect, but damn they are emotionally fucked up.

I think I just need to talk to my man about my feelings, because obviously my brain doesn't know how to shut up!

Blessed Be
Shadow Moon