Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Living on My Own To Focus

I swear I have artistic ADD; one day I want to paint, another I want to write, then I want to record a video. I can't finish anything and it leaves me frustrated.

Right now I'm working on a script with a friend and I can't seem to be motivated, mostly because of the material details and my unfamiliarity with them. The main character is a middle-aged-coming-out-of-the-closet-gay, who is married to a woman, and has a son. None of these facts apply to me, so I think I need my friend's help to bring the character out.

However, I do need to focus on school right now. I'm taking some child development classes, an art class, and sign language. I needed a break from all of my Creative Writing major stuff, most of it is boring anyway, and all of these classes will help keep my sanity and find a better job.

I don't want to be so dependent on my boyfriend, who is so sweet, but as a student I'm limited on everything. Kind of sucks really.

I have discovered I need to focus my energies so I'm not so scatterbrained. Meditation isn't one of my strong points, but even sitting down and writing in a journal of sorts would be good. Too many distractions.

I think I need to call on a solid god/dess for this semester. The first one coming to mind is Athena.

Last Summer, when I was alone and free, I called of Eris, fuck was that interesting, mostly because I had boundless energy, dated about 15-20 guys in July, made a bunch of videos, wrote. My ADD was booming but focused in a way, however it left me exhausted for the beginning of the school year. But life didn't fall apart until I quit my job and was so depressed my grades just fell like rocks.

I really just want to get out of school, in 2 years. I will talk to a counselor, I will find out if there are any alternative classes I can take, I will kick some ass, I will write my scrip and paint to keep my sanity. I will focus.

Blessed Be,
Shadow Moon