Shadow People

-Response to a Post on Paganspace.net

I used to see one down my hallway at night, they have never appeared in my room, to me anyway, but my sister said she saw a shadow in my room once. I think I feel them mostly, my hairs stand up. One time I think they tried to talk to me, but I was so scared, so I just curled under my covers and went to bed.

I've never felt anything bad, but since I do not understand them, I fear them. But as a child I used to think they were just my dad. I don't know why they are here and I'm wondering if they were a sign that I would follow a Pagan path.

My mother also sees them. She doesn't fear them, but just says, "Oh it's you." and goes back to bed. Now I'm wondering if they are the cause for my fear of seeing trees through a window. Sometimes I see them randomly on the road or from the corner of my eye. I wish they didn't look so dark and scary.

My sister also feels one, outside my house, she says it's feminine and it just watches her. She says I have a male one who watches me. But I wonder why? She also said they got pissed when I salted and smudged our rooms and house. So I'm wondering if they are a good thing.

Pagan Blog Prompt: Pagan Pride or Ego?

Provided by Pagan Blog Prompts

The Question Is:

In regards to Pagan Pride Day events and the like, "Do public gatherings serve your faith... or are they just big parties that serve the ego?"

I remember going to many Christian revivals as a child and I have to say they gave me a spiritual high so unimaginable it felt close to a addiction. However, it only stayed for a little while and I was left, cold, sad and alone in my spiritual self. There is no doubt in my mind that these experiences were authentic, but shallow.

Personally, I have never been to a Pagan Event, but I imagine it to be much the same, but different because I feel that there would be a lasting effect on me. It's about being free to express your love for the god or goddess you serve and knowing that there are physical presences beyond the ritual circle offer more substance. Because in the Christian mindset man is forever separate from God until death, but with Pagan beliefs, the god and goddess are here now, waiting for your fellowship.

This is the great divide between the two and it the power I felt as a Christian left me begging for more, but with the separation of God and man in play, it just leaves you empty in the end. So, I beleive a Pagan Event serves both the ego and the faith, because of their freedom in expression and the knowledge of the personal connection with the god and goddess now instead of waiting for death.

Shadow People and a Spooky Rock

So my sister went to our local metaphysical store and was informed that one of my granite rocks was heavy with negativity. I cleansed the rock in the sun, saltwater and under the full moon, so there is no reason why it should be bound in negativity and yet is is apparently. She advised we bury the rock and say a prayer. So I have to toss the rock, but I'm curious as to how it could have been infected so intensely.

The woman also said that I have called a spirit. I don't recall ever calling one, I used to see shadow people in my house when I was a child, but I haven't seen them in years, so I guess I must have called one to me as a child and instead of me being able to interact my sister has been felling the presence. Also I ticked it off when I salted my room and my sisters. Anyway, I really don't know what to do because I'm actually a little frightened to interact with the dead.

Furthermore the woman decided to advise me to take a class because I'm probably doing more harm than good. To be honest I haven't done anything without advice and guidance from more experienced people. I admit I'm new and I will probably ask her some questions of my own, but I'm wondering if you have any advice for me?

Being Sick Sucks

Of course on the first week of school I catch a nasty cold. Not only did I miss class, but two days of work. DANG! I really need the hours :( And I'm hoping I receive a call from a library job soon...16$ an hour...shelving books...air conditioning...an English Majors dream....

I've just been so wrapped up in school, work and stuffy noses that I'm thankful the full moon is coming :)

Also, my fiance was almost hired for a scam. I'm just so angry at people who use these hard economic times to take advantage of the financially desperate. It takes a very twisted individual to call and promise a job which requires lying and manipulation to accomplish. GERR, it just makes me so MAD!

So, onto a witchy matter, I recently did a tarot reading for my fiance and I'm happy because he is a Christian and he did say it helped give him some clarity on his situation. I'm new to using tarot, but I seem to have a ability, as long as I stay focused :) I understand all the forms of divination are just to be used as a tool for life changing decisions and problems, not an absolute guide to what shall be. Because the individual can change their own future depending on their choices.

Cool Orbs

Caught some cool orb images after I left some chocolate for the spirits in my garden.
These were the best images.

Invading Dream

I had a nightmare about Neo-Nazis coming into my house and taking over. They had Uzis, combat boots. My parents were out of the house and for some reason my co-worker Ande was there.

I tried to fight them, but that didn’t work, there were about fifty of them yelling, screaming, ready to set up a ritualistic fire in the back yard. Funny enough they didn’t take away our cell phones or computers, but they did cut the lines and set up an anti-cell signal.

I did finally escape and I was able to call the police, but I kept dialing the wrong number. Finally I escaped with some clothes up to my sister’s house. After I must have astro-projected back to the house to get some more things, then I was picked up by the police.

It was a scary dream, but usually I remember them if they are important. Perhaps it’s to warn be to protect myself from outside influences or even to remind me that I do have the power to astro-project. I think everyone does have the power because we all dream and visit different places.

I really didn’t like the place I visited last night, but I hope I can learn from it.

Communication

Last night Angel, Sherman, my fiancé and I wend up Hicks road to watch the falling start. It was perfectly dark as we laid there on a blanket watching the colorful streaks pass through the milky way. We talked, laughed and joked only interrupting with a resounding “ooooooooh” when a star streaked past.

It was so amazing to be somewhere so quiet, where only the wind and crickets fill our ears, it’s rare to have these moments when you live in the city. The energy isn’t as rushed like it is in the city and it has a calming effect. But I think we tried to change it with out constant talking, we just couldn’t enjoy the quiet too long.

It would be nice to go up there alone mainly because it would be easier to enjoy the serene quiet. But there are times where it’s okay to just talk with others and have a good time under the infinite stars. There were no computers, phones, texting, it was authentic communication, where you could hear the voice and face at the same time,

The Pagan community itself seems spread thin and it is sometimes lonely in solidarity practice. I’m lucky to have some friends, but it would be nice to meet other Pagans without the use of the Internet, which is an awesome tool, but impersonal. One time I went to one of my local occult stores and just stared at by the other customers. I felt like I was intruding and it did not encourage me to open up either.

I wouldn’t have minded a small high, but all I felt was negativity. I have at least one good idea behind the Christian community, if you come into their church, you are usually greeted warmly, but with the Pagan community, it seems people are very guarded from each other.

This is one of the reasons why I’ve chosen to be a solitary. I don’t want to deal with drama, but I feel pretty lonely with just my books to keep me company. It just seems like the community is very hidden and skeptical to newbies. But I think it would be good to have some structure and learn from more experienced practitioners even if the coven doesn’t work out, at least you have the knowledge.